I'm a chunky bastard who spends as much time as possible doing as little as possible. Not because I'm lazy, but because I can. Our forefathers fought for our ability to do nothing, and I honor that earned right on a daily basis. I've been known to poop myself to avoid getting up, got to show support for the cause. I enjoy poop jokes (except those that involve seasoning my Baconator with shavings of dried cow shit... fuck you Efraim).