Dear Jordan,

Since it appears you listeners just wanted to view the video via Facebook, or maybe were so fucking lazy to not either join Funny or Die like you asked them to or the ones you have gotten to join were just too fucking sad to just login, I thought I would be the first to comment on your v... more >

Dear Jordan,

Since it appears you listeners just wanted to view the video via Facebook, or maybe were so fucking lazy to not either join Funny or Die like you asked them to or the ones you have gotten to join were just too fucking sad to just login, I thought I would be the first to comment on your video.

First of all, I find it completely amazing you did not wear any makeup for the role and look like that just natural. I don't know if you did that on purpose, but it's pure genius.

I thought Matt was hideous....looking. Did he wear make up?

Bo did a great job and makes you all look like no talent ass clowns.

Love,

Jordan Zeh

PS: I hope you die and rot in hell!

I have been carefully reviewing potential Vice Presidential candidates trying to figure out Obama’s best pick. Personally, after careful consideration, I feel that Obama’s best choice would be someone securing him safety. Using George HW Bush’s “Dan Quayle Method” is his best move. No one was goin... more >

I have been carefully reviewing potential Vice Presidential candidates trying to figure out Obama’s best pick. Personally, after careful consideration, I feel that Obama’s best choice would be someone securing him safety. Using George HW Bush’s “Dan Quayle Method” is his best move. No one was going to let anything happen to GHW Bush. Shit, I would have dived in front of and shielded that bullet. But as I was saying for VP choices, A real fucking idiot that everyone would FEAR to run the FREE WORLD. Here is my short list.

1-George W. Bush (laws would have to be changed) 2-Ralph Nader 3-Alan Keyes (another party cross over, but I think everyone has proved over and over…NO ONE WANTS THIS MAN TO BE PRESIDENT!)

Please add real fucking idiots to my list!

Goodnight, and God Bless America.

Jordan

In 1998, my great grandmother was very ill with the West Nile Virus. Mosquitoes and fruit flies had attacked my great grandmother and left large painful welps all over her body, and she itched all over. After watching 60 minutes, she saw Dr. Jack Kervorkian and insisted I contact him about euthan... more >

In 1998, my great grandmother was very ill with the West Nile Virus. Mosquitoes and fruit flies had attacked my great grandmother and left large painful welps all over her body, and she itched all over. After watching 60 minutes, she saw Dr. Jack Kervorkian and insisted I contact him about euthanasia. I finally was able to contact Dr. Jack Kervorkian and was able to convince him to come euthanize my grandmother before she passed calmly in her sleep of old age. Dr. Kervorkian flew into South Carolina and my great grandmother must have liked him because she started sucking Dr. Kervorkian off. She sucked him off right in front of me and 13 family members. My grandmother then refused to be euthanized and began bragging to anyone that would listen that “I sucked Dr. Death off.” I started to dawn on me that my great grandmother was not that great. About 2 years later, she would call Dr. Kervorkian and beg to be euthanized for a 2nd time. This time, her wish was granted. I was to arrange crematory arrangements, so I contacted Tri-State Crematory in Noble, Ga . I arranged a ride with a friend in his mini van and we took my dead great grandmother to the crematory and were told to pass time, so we went to eat at “The Bloody Bucket,” in Noble, Ga, for which I ordered ham. We returned later to the crematory to see if they were done, and then we took home what I thought was my great grandmother’s remains. I then drove to Edisto Beach, SC , where she left a last will and testament to have her remains scattered. I got so really fucked up drunk and high on pot, that I forgot to scatter her. I really like to drive when I get fucked up, so I drove all the way to Barnwell, SC before I realized I had forgot to scatter my great grandmother’s remains. I stopped at a pond to scatter her remains, which after I dumped them, I realized that it was an oxidation pond, full of piss from dick holes, shit and feces from assholes all across Barnwell, SC. For years, I punished myself for that mistake until I was contacted by an attorney that awarded me just over $225, 000 in a lawsuit for the victims of this tragedy. He informed me that this crematory was not cremating bodies, but dumping them on nearby land. I am not sure that I am suppose to go get her remains or not. Before then, I never believe in miracles, other than the US Hockey Team defeating Russia. Now, I believe in miracles. God bless each and everyone of you, Jordan F**king Zeh