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President George W Bush has enlisted British special forces in a final attempt to capture Osama Bin Laden before he leaves the White House. Here are the 9 other things President Bush has on his To-Do list before the year 2001 comes to a close.
9. Make sure to see "2001: A Space Odyssey" before the year 2001 ends.
8. Make sure and liquidate all that Enron stock after Kenny Boy told him--uh... told him... nothing. No!.. Told him that the Colorado Avalanche won the Stanley Cup. Yeah, that's it.
7. Drop Lizzie Grubman as PR Flack.
6. Audition to replace Jason Newsted as bassist of Metallica.
5. Buy stock in AOL/TimeWarner after the merger because that new company ain't gonna be nothing but successful for eternity.
4. Return his Inaugural Tux to Today's Man.
3. Pitch a big screen adaptation of the book, "The Pet Goat" to the dudes who made "The Matrix" as a 2002 Summer Tentpole.
2. Finish laminating the twins' fake I.D.'s before they go back to College.
1. Play Rock-Paper-Scissors with Dick Cheney to see who gets the Oval Office.
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Comments (8)
wow, going after Bush! Ballsy! That really is some cutting edge stuff! I don’t think i ever saw anyone take such a brave stance! AMAZING! You should get an award!
what about all the good “W” did for Frank Caliendo’s career…before Bush, all he had was Madden…not to mention all of the great jokes he practically gave to all the struggling stand-up comedians out there. They say laughter is the best medicine…and that’s a good thing!
FUCKING CLASSIC
Well, as an executive of a major oil company, I’m pretty psyched!!! Woo hoo! Rich!
Maybe McCain will be sooooooooooooooooooooo much better. I mean he’s old and angry, so I can really really really relate to THAT….
INSERT SARCASM WARNING LABEL>
Wait! What about all the good stuff the Bush administration did? Like….. Wait… Hold on….. Oh! No terrorists attacks! Wait, 9/11 happened well into the Bush administration and they had ample warning…...There’s got to be something…...Steroids? Shit…. this is hard. Can anyone name anything good…..
All 8 comments on Bush Orders, "Get Bin Laden!" And 9 Other Things He Should Have Done in 2001