Blah Blah Blahgs
by Terrence Tillery
Sacramento, CA - Thomas Beatie, the female-to-male transgender who made headlines when he became pregnant, gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Thursday, leaving Arnold Schwarzenegger, California governor and star of the failed comedy “Junior,” very upset.
“It feels like the opening weekend of ‘Junior’ all over again quite frankly. Let’s just say it’s a rough time in the Governor’s mansion this weekend,” said devoted wife, mother, journalist, author, Oprah best friend and Democrat Maria Shriver. “I don’t think Arnold will get over the publicity Beatie is getting for something Arnold got no acclaim for years ago. It’s sort of how I won’t get over the fact that my mother and father continue to mock me for my choices.”
“Junior” was a comedy released in 1994 in which Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a scientist who agrees to get pregnant for the sake of a fertility experiment. The film did receive an Academy Award nomination for the Carole Bayer Sager song “Look What Love Has Done,” but failed to live up to its box office expectations and was considered a flop. Explained director Ivan Reitman, “I think that because Danny DeVito co-starred we expected more. You have to understand that this was right after ‘Twins,’ which revolutionized the buddy comedy. And after this Beatie business, Arnold is probably shocked at the attention. Nobody cared in ’94.”
Thomas Beatie, who has been under an intense microscope since the announcement of his pregnancy, is trying to ignore the comparison.
“I knew that when I got pregnant, most Americans would say I was trying to pretend I was Arnold’s character Dr. Alex Hesse. But I’m not trying to pretend that at all. I just want to live the life I want to live. Do I wish ‘Junior’ was never made? Maybe.”
In what some have an called outrageous Independence Day speech in Sacramento yesterday, the Governator passed a law stating that California police could no longer go undercover as kindergarten teachers.
Said California Cabinet member Terry Tamminen, “Governor Schwarzenegger is just trying to cover his bases here. He can’t be overshadowed and embarrassed like this again.”
MySpace
Comments (6)
evryone is taking this shit too seriously…in case ya didnt notice..the web site is FUNNY OR DIE.com….its all a big joke..laugh at it dont analyze it to death and kill the funny for everyone else jesus..i vote die to all you retards making a big deal!
By twonicus’s account, an individual that suffered a shrapnel injury in war, might no longer be considered male. Or a woman, who has recieved a hysterectomy in order to overcome a life threatening ailment, is no longer a woman.
If you look closely at individuals, you’ll find that being a man or woman has to do with a whole lot more then the bits and pieces, ... more >
I like how you guys think these articles have real quotes…
A woman gave birth to a baby. I don’t see how this is a big deal. More important topics could be on the news in the time it takes to talk about this pregnant man bullshit. Celebrities, politicians, and news anchors on television are idiots. Go fuck yourselves!
Couldn’t agree more
i’m sorry, but what makes a woman is between two things…her legs, same with a man…i don’t care what happened to your breasts or how much facial hair you’ve got. if you have a vagina and a uterus you are a woman…i’ll call you a ‘he’ just like i’ll respect any drag queen by calling them ‘her’, but don’t try to be ‘a pregnant... more >
i’m sorry, but what makes a woman is between two things…her legs, same with a man…i don’t care what happened to your breasts or how much facial hair you’ve got. if you have a vagina and a uterus you are a woman…i’ll call you a ‘he’ just like i’ll respect any drag queen by calling them ‘her’, but don’t try to be ‘a pregnant man’ when, clearly, you are not. ar... more >