GONE SPORTIN' COLUMN
by Colton McChudd

So this fella David Hayes' granddaughter asks him to hold her Barbie rod and reel while she attended to her water closet needs. This fella did. And seconds later he landed a whopper, a state record catfish at 21 pounds, 1 ounce. 

Well la-deee-da.

Color me unimpressed. When I was a boy I must have bested this achievement three or four times every afternoon. I'm not one to brag but in my day this wouldn't even ranked as "interesting conversation", yet alone an "achievement".

Not to blow my own horn, but i'll give you the rough outlines of some of my "sporting with little girl's toys" yarns.

On a whim, I lured Nessie out of her Loch with an EZ Bake oven. To save my own life, I killed two bears with a baby doll that could wet itself. I once rode a 2 inch tall plastic horse  50 miles to save the life of a fevered child. On a bet, I made a raft out of a jump rope and sailed to the Cape of Good Hope. I survived for two months in an ice cave on a diet of glitter and buttons.

So pardon me if I don't get that excited about the fella with the barbie fishing pole. With that kinda hardware I could change the course of history.