I can tell you who I'm not: I'm not a small-town girl trying to succeed in a man's world. I'm not a lowly drifter, trying to escape a dark past that follows me from town to town. I'm not some dirty $20 hooker, sucking dick in the back seat of a Honda Civic just so she can score some meth and some formula for her baby daughter. Nor am I the new kid in school, avoiding both the daily assault from the bullies and peeing my pants in front of Rachel, the cutest girl in homeroom. I'm currently 286 pounds of awesome; make sure to enjoy every single ounce.