Jess_Red

In response to “unknown groups”. Every group that goes on is... more »

In response to “unknown groups”. Every group that goes on is known. You must be out of the loop.

Even if they aren’t MEGASTARS, they are still known. (which there are none any more which fall into “group”).

I think Fiest is an awesome band, and am glad they were on. They redeemed the show for me.

Erica Johnson said:

How do you feel about where SNL is at right now? If you grew up on SNL like I did and followed it religiously, then it kinda matters to you and some people could care less. I remember a time when I’d tune in and it just wasn’t funny at all, you’d give it another chance the next week and nope, nothing. I’d find myself begging for the good old days from the different eras that I was able to watch it in: the 80s and 90s. Today, I watch it more than I did from that period of like early 2001 to like a year ago. They seem to be doing a better job with writing, but I would like to see better hosts and musical guests. That used to be a consistent thing, relevant hosts and the musical guests were always great rock or even hip hop groups. Not that I don’t like the unknown groups, but that’s what SNL used to be, a place where the best groups out would go and perform. I mean they have Brian Williams on there right now. I love him, but what? He was an easy host to get or something ‘cause he works for NBC? They did a sketch on his work day that was barely funny.

What are your thoughts on SNL right now? I think change is inevitable with anything, but dang.

Please name your top five comedy bits.

NOTE: NOT COMEDIANS, BUT ACTUAL... more »

Please name your top five comedy bits.

NOTE: NOT COMEDIANS, BUT ACTUAL SKITS.

READY! 123GO!

I will post mine soon…

I think I’m just gonna sit.

lyziwyg said:

This forum should quickly... more »

I think I’m just gonna sit.

lyziwyg said:

This forum should quickly turn into a crazy free-for-all where unabomber-like nutjobs discuss conspiracy theories, libertarian politics, argue about which strip club serves the best steak, and after all the dust settles, fall in love. This is where you come when you’re at work, you got one more hour till quitting time, and you’d like to toss around some ideas with your like-minded peers. I personally plan on posting here a LOT, and not just about how everyone else on the road shouldn’t be allowed to drive—I’ve got a cornucopia of thoughts about the alternative minimum tax laws, Stevie Nicks, and what my next cellphone should be.

WWJFTOTS(What Would Jesus FIll This Out To Say?)1. Do you like cheese?

Of... more »

WWJFTOTS (What Would Jesus FIll This Out To Say?) 1. Do you like cheese?

Of course, I invented it.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?

Of course, I invented it.

3. Do you own a gun? Of course, I invented it.

4. Your favorite song right now? ...”Any Dream Will Do” by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice in musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?

Doctors aren’t God. Neither am I. I’m just his son. BUT, I am still better than doctors. Boy, doctors are real douche bags.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think I invented them.

7. What’s your favorite Christmas song?

The ones that have me in it. Which is All of them. “Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear Jesus, Happy birthday to me!” You think Donald Trump gets awesome gifts… I GET FUCKING MURR!!! WOO!!!!!!!!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Vodka.

9. Can you do push ups?

yes. but i don’t have to. i am perfect.

But, sometimes i do let jezebel blow me.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?

my halo.

12. Favorite hobby?

Shining my hal while Jezebel blows me.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

I say “Hey, did you just fall from heaven? Cuz, if you did, I know guy who might be help you back into heaven”.

Works everytime.

14. Do you have A.D.D.?

No, but I invented it.

15. What’s one trait you hate about yourself?

That I am absolutely perfect. I wish I had a scar or something on my face.

16. Middle Name?

Harry Jesus H. Christ

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment…

I’m Jesus. God prolly doesn’t like this. I am going to hell.

18. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?

Love from the Holy Grail Wine from water and Yoo Hoo, even I don’t know what’s in it! What a miracle!

20. Current worry right now?

Jesus is the savior of all. I want to be let into your pants… and By “pants” I mean “heart”

21. Current hate?

Judas

22. Favorite place to be? Floating on a cloud shining my halo… and waiting for Paris Hilton to die to get a beegjay. And, helping Dad pass judgement on all man kind for the OJ Simpson fiasco.

23. How did you bring in the New Year? I watched the ball drop with all the gang from the last supper.

24. Where would you like to go?

to the cocamos….

25. Name three people who will complete this and return?

...I can not reveal the future. This is one thing God has forbidden me to do.

But, i would hedge a guess it will be Judas. Fucking JUDAS.

27. What shirt are you wearing?

A really stilish toga from “Toga’s r’ Us” don’t the street from my palace on the Avenue of Clouds.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?

Nope. But my Golden Fleece is really nice.

29. Can you whistle?

nope. but i can create life!

30. Favorite color? Yellow.

31. Would you be a pirate? No. I invented those though.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower??

Jesus does not sing, unless it’s in the presence of the Allmighty…whopper.

33. Favorite girl’s name?

Judas. HA!!!!! Gotcha Judy.

34. Favorite boy’s name?

Jesus. Jesus Herbert Christ

35. What’s in your pocket right now?

The souls of all man kind.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?

God running around with my shround on saying “ooooh Holly Ghoost”.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?

Berlap!

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?

...oh, you are just ASKING for the Stigmata.

39. Do you love where you live?

Am I in love with The Most Holy of places in any plain of existence? Not really. I’d rather be at a Days Inn. Idiot.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Jesus needs no TV. He sees all.

41. Who is your loudest friend? Noah. Blah blah. two by two…blah blah

42. Who is your most silent friend?

Gabriel. So SULLEN!

43. Do you wish on shooting stars? Nope. But I love throwing them.

45. What is your favorite book?

It’s NOT the Bible, oddly enough. I know right? It’s actually The Martha Stewart Living Cookbook: The Original Classics

46. What is your favorite candy?

Wafers.

47. Favorite Sports Team? The Yankees.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?

They played the lute at the first one…

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?

Jezebel.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

“Why do I even try to sleep? that bitch snores! I SHALL VANQUISH HER!”