willisthemaster writes:

First Place: LeatherShorts with
Rong rive Warmart Inc.
Read paint toys and prastic shit
Rooks rike we raugh rast

Made me laugh but really shouldnt have!!!

Second place: Our glamourous host, Jason2k1 with
Most American
Thing that I can think of is
Love for Asian box.

Very true Jason, but thats only until you try an Irish one!

Third place: Phukuhp with
BUY IT BY THE BOX.
THIS AMERICAN FREEDOM
IS MADE IN CHINA.

Liked this one, well done Dave!

Well, leathershorts....enjoy x
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Here in Arizona, we're celebrating sending the Cardinals to the Superbowl and enjoying perfect weather, but I hear in some parts of the world, they have this thing called "winter." I can't be sure, but I imagine that it looks something like this:

In honor of President Barack Obama's inauguration, I am asking that you all "spread the wealth" of your witty ideas.

First, put your thinking caps on and respond to ClayJunky's Daily Dilemma http://www.funnyordie.com/blog/posts/13120

Then, caption away at Dave's Alternative Caption Contest http://www.funnyordie.com/blog/posts/13124
and at Westsideslant's Caption Coalition http://www.funnyordie.com/blog/posts/13123

Lizardladyfla says:

Here are the winners for the Balloon Buffoon Haiku
#1-willisthemaster:people,they may laugh
But the one thing they dont know
this is contagious!
I will run the other way if I see this guy,thanks for the Heads up !good haiku Michaela

#2-WILLIBOY: PINK LIKE A VULVA
RUN IN CHOCOLATE PUDDING
BOTH ARE SLIPPERY
He's just so blunt and funny,good interpretation !

#3-claykunky: Hubba Bubba man
Thank God for developing
the day after pill
I remember that gum,big bubbles to blow.And that guy should not reproduce !
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Congratulations willisthemaster. Perhaps, you can offer us an international perspective on Obama's nascent presidency and the fears of many captured by this photo.

MacSpruce says:

Once again, a fine showing by all you haiku traffickers made the judge's task a de-light-ful one.

A green light to 3rd place winner, our gracious host jason2k1 for
I don't know whether
I should stop or I should go.
It's like sex with mutes.

The less said about that, the better ...

Proceeding with caution to amber, 2nd place goes to jentastic for
On the corner where
Anarchy and Chaos cross
stands the perfect light.

I know that corner all too well, I'm afraid ...

But the one that brought me to a full stop, our 1st place winner is lizardladyfla for
Just like a woman
She gives out mixed messages
Ask for directions

This one's got everything: a nod to Dylan, the war of the sexes, an allusion to the eternal question, "What do women want?", the old gag about men and directions ...
Magnificent!

Well done, one and all. Keep 'em coming!
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In honor of MLK's birthday, I bring you evidence that even stupid people have a dream.



Now, let's all show LizardLadyFla just how tolerant we've grown of people who are different from us...waaaaay different.

Hairlesspet Says:

My thanks to our host for such discerning taste in potty humor! The contest was a tough one, considering the epic nature of the image, and there were some fantastic entries.
That being said, I will now rank you in order of fantasticity...

jimbobalouie comes in at a close third with his fantastic description of Mr. Sullenberg's very large, and probably solid steel, genetalia. Bravo sir, well played.

westsideslant lands at second with the question that everyone knows the answer to: the entire nation...or his wife...awesome haiku

and coming in at first is MacSpruce with his delightful hommage to James Taylor: no pieces on the ground this time death, you slimy bastard. Haikus on me MacSpruce!
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Alright, MacSpruce. You're running the show. I'd congratulate you in person, but I'm stuck at this light.

A true comedian knows that nothing is off limits. And since no one was injured in yesterday's surprise landing, this is just a funny picture. Get to capping.



I was thrilled to judge yesterday, and I'm equally excited to pass the torch to someone else.

The best of the best is :

1. Hairlesspet
"Look a giant fish!"
I say, and when you look I
kick you in the balls.

Damn smart strategy. Though as WILLIBOY points out, it will still be a slo-mo roundhouse.

2. Sabre419
Two Scuba Ninjas,
And One Big-Ass Purple Fish...
Yup... The 'shrooms kicked in.

Now, the photo makes a lot more sense to me.

3. Jimbobalouie
Fisherman Ninjas
Just compete underwater
For the Halibut

You know I love a good pun. And halibut's a tough one to work in. Kudos!

So, congratulation to Hairlesspet. You are now hairlessjudge.

MacSpruce Says:

Some great submissions
Made it difficult to choose
Here are the winners:

Honorable mention to bg6 for
Take an African
add electrical current
and ZAP, you get this!

The bronze goes to jimbobalouie for
Extremely hot wings
With jalapeno dip added
Creates a Don King

The silver to cmsmithtn for
Hey, I'm almost there
Do not move a muscle please
Damn! You knew better.

And the gold goes to (drum roll, please) jason2k1 for
Wait with bated breath
as she pees and checks whether
the damn stick turns blue.

All very funny. Thanks to everyone, and of course, to today's winner - our host. More, please.



To say I am honored would be an understatement. Keep posting and I'll pick a winner on the morrow.