JackieClarke

I decided my final post will be "Fun with Emails." Here are some of my fave recent email exchanges.

My friend Rob lives in LA but needed to find a place to stay for a few days while he was in NYC. Since I live in NYC and am currently in LA he thought he could stay at my place. And he sent me the following email. Jerkie, How long are you in LA? What if I needed a place to stay in NY next week? What if? Did you leave a bunch of dildos out? Ha ha. Rob is really funny. ...

I am obsessed with New York City graffiti. Not necessarily the street art variety (although that stuff is very cool) I am more of a Sharpied penis next to someone's mouth kind of girl. For example:

While I am in LA, I am staying with my good friend Seth . He's hilarious and a great friend**. But he's the kind of guy who's on MySpace, not Facebook. So he's got some problems. Trying to be a good roomie, I did a little grocery shopping. I went to Trader Joe's which may possibly be the high-light of my trip. I am not saying that to dis LA. My experience at Trader Joe's was Zen-like. The one on 14th St in Manhattan is insane 24/7. I have only been once, on a Tuesday at 2pm, and ...

Ali Lohan is Lindsay Lohan's little sister. She is the 14 year-old spawn of Parents-of-the-Year Dina and Michael Lohan. I recently saw a picture of Ali Lohan that made my head spin.

This is a picture of a 14 year-old girl. Lemme write it one more time: she is 14 years old. Not 34 or 44. 14. There is no doubt that she is a beautiful girl. Those Lohans have some good genes. (Unfortunately the same genes that provide shiny hair, adorable freckles and sparkling eyes tend to like cocai...

Hello, FODers, We'll be spending this week of blogging together and I am thrilled. I am NYC based but I am in Los Angeles for the month of June doing a show at UCB LA called "Showgirls: The Best Movie Ever Made, Ever! " This means I have plenty of free time to devote to my blog. You are welcome. One of the things I have noticed since I have been in LA is an occurrence I am calling "Wayne Newton Mouth." Wayne Newton Mouth or WNM is when a person has plastic surgery on...