ImaginaryBitches

I'm going to make this easy… If your BFF has, or wants to have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) dump her. Because she's going to dump you. Trust me, she's a BFFB. And you're an emotional seat-filler in the Academy Awards of life and the second she gets that shiny trophy, you're on the fast track to the C-list, standing on the other side of the velvet rope. C-list? Yep. B-list is reserved for girls who know the new love of your friend's life, because it's SOOOO much fun spending time with the...

Is your friend having a bunch of couples over for dinner and you don't want to go because you don't want to feel like the ninth wheel? Don't be an idiot. Go! Being the only single girl at a couple's dinner party is a great place to meet men. And have sex with them. And the best part is, you don't have to worry about them trying to start a relationship with you, because they're already dating your friend.

Long term relationships are for losers. Forget the fact that 55% of marriages end in divorce. How about that 83% of all serious relationships (anything that lasts longer than 3 months) end in breakups? Five out of six relationships you know are doomed to failure. Think about it. Every time you get to that "amazing" stage where you officially decide to call each other boyfriend or girlfriend and start planning how to spend the holidays together, try to remember that the odds are you'll be br...