hollywoodphony

So I almost forgot that tomorrow is Friday and I really should say something about my week blogging here at Funny or Die. I think I probably will put up another one for the weekend, but if not, I want to thank everyone for reading. It's been a lot of fun reading your comments and getting to know you a little bit. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, though you probably didn't. I want to give a special thanks to Amy and Lauren at FoD for giving me this opportunity. I hope you don't regr...

I lifted up the lid of the recycling container and threw the heavy, over-stuffed garbage bag in. I looked down at it, for just a moment. Then I slammed it shut and walked away. Six months ago, I had been sitting at my computer, drinking a beer and perusing Craigslist for free stuff. That’s when I saw it. “Free to a good home: One Barney the Dinosaur (like) costume” I called the number. Surely, it was already gone. Nope. Against all odds, it was still available and to ...

When I was a kid, Sunday was the day my brother and I usually spent the most time with our dad. He was pretty stressed out during the week and Sunday was his only real day off. One of our rituals on this day was our trip to get some fast food. My mom usually had to work, so it was his job to feed us. Given his love of anything fried or grilled and his hatred of actually having to cook something, it was a no-brainer that we usually ended up at McDonald’s or Burger King. On really s...

Note: For some reason this blog got deleted, along with everyone's comments. Sorry about that! Well, I guess I neglected to introduce myself, yesterday. I was just so eager to jump right in! Anyway, I'm Eric Filipkowski and I like to go out to chain restaurants. That's really all you need to know about me. All the important events of my life happen at and revolve around chain restaurants. Chili's, Applebee's, TGI Friday's. Not Bennigan's though.

I have a confession to make. Actually, I have a few. First off, I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in over 20 years. My average routine consists of a series of quick catnaps interrupted by nightmares, screaming and waking up in a cold sweat. This is probably one of the reasons I can’t seem to keep a girlfriend. Because honestly, who the hell would want to put up with that? I’ve woken up to find I’ve pushed girls right off the bed onto the floor while I sle...

Can't we consolidate our information from all these disparate sources and just have one-stop-shopping? Are those days long gone?