First they were turned down by the Republicans.

Then they were turned down by the Democrats.

Now Earl Jr. and Tom Rogers have found a home with the Abdicratic party. 

Tuesday members of the Abdicratic party voted for Earl Jr. and Tom Rogers to represent them in November.

“I have always considered myself most in line with the views of the Abdicrats,” Earl Jr. said.  “This is a natural fit.”

As the ticket of the Abdicratic party, Earl Jr. and Tom Rogers will not appear on the ballots of any state. 

Tom Rogers, Earl Jr’s vice-presidential candidate, asserts that will not be an issue.

“Hell! With who we got on the ballot, people are looking for a write-in!” Rogers said. “We’ve been getting the word out and motivating the base.”

When asked to elaborate Rogers said that he did not actually understand what “motivating the base” meant, and we should refer any more questions to one of his consultants.

The Abdicratic party was established in part to create a 3 party system and in part to simply “shake-up” the political scene, according to a spokesperson.

“So far we have been highly unsuccessful at both,” said the spokesperson.  “We do not anticipate that to change merely because of the celebrity of our ticket, but here’s hoping!”

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**REPOST**

An independent presidential candidate, said by opponents to be racist, chose an African-American as his running mate Friday.

Alabama resident Tom Rogers was selected after months of secretive deliberation by the Earl Jr. for President of the USA of America campaign.

“It is an honor to be selected by Earl,” said Rogers.  “I feel that I will bring more experience to the White House than Sarah Palin.”

He contends that his experience over seeing a landscaping crew prepares him more for the White House than Palin’s experience as Governor of Alaska.

“While she’s been up there [in Alaska] doing God knows what, I’ve been down here with the people of this wonderful country!” Rogers said. “I love this country more than she does.”

Earl Jr. feels that Rogers brings new life to a struggling campaign.

“This campaign has from day one been dedicated to diversity and representing the people of this country fairly,” Earl said.  “The addition of Tom to my campaign proves it, and now maybe you people will believe me.”

A spokesperson for the campaign said the addition of Rogers to the ticket will help secure target demographics.

  “This campaign may struggle but we will prevail.  This addition is exciting and will help Earl with groups that he has struggled with in the past, particularly the coveted self-hating black demographic,” the spokesperson said.

The campaign said to expect more announcements within the coming weeks.

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