Funnebone

Merging Lane Man

It was a daily ritual among the locals traveling on the stretch of road known simply as ” fucking shitty road”. To watch it from above would surely be entertaining of not magical as the motorists jockeyed for position. The merge signs were plentiful and bright, rem... more >

Merging Lane Man

It was a daily ritual among the locals traveling on the stretch of road known simply as ” fucking shitty road”. To watch it from above would surely be entertaining of not magical as the motorists jockeyed for position. The merge signs were plentiful and bright, reminding the operators of the requirements ahead. Everyone knew the rules: you don’t let anyone ahead of you who is a different race, gender or has a more expensive car than you. Tonight was no different. The Maxima edged out the mercedes who squeezed into the vacant spot created by the woman smacking her kids in the minivan. This caused the man in the jetta to become irate as he saw precious seconds tacked on to his voyage. He swerved to outflank the astrovan, but only served to wedge himself in between a 1996 monte carlo with its thundering blown out bass and an f-350 sporting yosemite sam mud flaps. The humidity was fogging the glass as the temperatures were rising. The logjam duplicated itself well beyond the merging of the lanes, alerting others of the impending crisis. Approaching at equal speeds but differing intents were three vehicles all determined to be the first to sit in the stalled traffic. As the left lane started to appear narrower, the driver of the Yukon accelerated but was matched by the tenacity of the woman in the Accord. Not to be outdone, the korean in the accura downshifted, causing him to lurch forward and he kept pace with is rivals. The adreneline of the race was at a fever pitch when Warren , moving at a snails pace but moving nonetheless , looked up into his rear view mirror and realized what was happening. Warren was near the end of the gridlock and had been stout in obeying the laws of the merge. He had merged early, leaving some 50 yards of left lane exposed and untapped. the cars ahead of him had created space, yet he was frozen by fear and rage. He could not let any of these three beside him, to the left, for this would negate his acceptance of road rules. Any encroachment into the free lane would be a blow to the civility he had come to dream of. He could not have it. As the three cars raced each other, the median drifted right, choking off the yukons path but not its drivers determination, in a cockblock game of chicken, he was aimed straightforward and as his competitors slowed in responce to the stalled traffic, the mighty yukon was steadfast in h=its persistence. Warren Looked into the side mirror, then quickly to the rearview, and across to the passenger side mirror. He swung his caviler out to the left , alerting the yukon that its path was unwelcome. With 3 car lenghts of free space in front of him and an anxious neighbor to the right, Warren then steered his front end into the middle lane, thereby choking off any chance of either lanes exploitation. As he wiped the sweat off his brow, he looked back to the sounds of the yukons horns, which were joined by the chorus of the other drivers. The battle of the lanes had become a slow agonizing chess match. Warren had 2 of the lanes in his control Check-mate-motherfucker

Those who dare to pass, dare to sit Thanks to Merge Man!

Sandy often times firewalls and S4x sockets interfere with uploads. You may want to check your y bar to make sure that the magtron isn’t full. If it says 45 mg next to it you should be good to go. If you are still having trouble you may want to tie die your uterus and then we can go from there.more >

Sandy often times firewalls and S4x sockets interfere with uploads. You may want to check your y bar to make sure that the magtron isn’t full. If it says 45 mg next to it you should be good to go. If you are still having trouble you may want to tie die your uterus and then we can go from there.

Being_Sandy_Sunshine said:

Can someone help?

How do I upload a video? I’ve looked through all the links in my account and there’s nothing that says “upload.”

Grrr…frustrated!

thanks.