I don't know what came over me last week. For whatever reason I became..well..emotional. I started to think about some of the nasty things I have done in my life. I thought of the time we put a hose into a car that belonged to a guy working at the local gas station as he slept inside the cashiers booth late one night. I remember seeing water pouring out of the doors when we drove buy an hour later. I think back to the time I left a girl sitting in a bar, with a $60 tab while I went to go see another girl. The thoughts just kept rolling into my brain and I felt low, so low. It was like I was staring at a moral credit report and my score was abysmall. I wondered what I could do to restore my standing with GOD, myself and humanity.
Then it dawned on me. I will do something nice for someone. I can't change the past, but I can start anew. I could find someone whom I have wronged and perform a good gesture in the hopes of rectifying my wrongs. I ran everyone through my head....some people affected were either too far away, either in time or in distance and some were just too pissed off to forgive me. I needed someone who was almost too stupid to question my motives yet deserving of an act of kindness. Someone whose life is so useless and barren that even the smallest recognition of their existence would excite them. It didn't take long.



Meet  shaughn  . He is an FOD frequent contributor and a proud proponent of breastfeeding into adulthood. He has often been the but of my jokes as well as being the preferred but of the local seminary. He would be perfect.


I racked my brain thinking of something to do for him.  I could send him a bottle of wine but I am not certain his mother would approve given his tendency to shit himself when drunk and try to sleep in her bed.  I thought about sending him a new shirt but I couldn't find and t shirts with long sleeves sewn inside. While looking I stumbled upon the article " How to care for your slow child" and found that challenged individuals often are mezmarized by moving objects: mobiles, windmills ect. I figured something to take his attention off his Beanie Baby collection and to stop his self mulitation, I would find something that was personable and full of excitement.


I ran across a site which offered the perfect present. Whoopass.com can make a custom Bobblehead from a simple picture. The likeness is stunning.




I quickly entered in the options to customize the figure, opting to change shaugh out of his favorite shirt. I decided on shorts and a short sleeve shirt, with no sleeves. I figured he could keep his addidas hat and glasses since they, along with his retainer, seem to be security items for him and reduce his trantrums. With a little help from MSPAINT, I made a prototype picture and sent it off to Whoopass and awaited the finished product.





A few days went by and I came home this morning to find a FEDEX package on my doorstep. Like a child I ran inside hardly able to contain my excitement. I opened the box and shook off the packing material, pulled away the bubblewrap and after a few moments wiped a tear from my eye as I had never before been so close to perfection. The team at Whoopass had captured his every angle and feature in a way few craftsman could achieve. I felt as though I was holding a little shaughn72 right in my hand. I gave it a little shake and watched his head bob and knew this was the perfect gift.

A new series about a girl who develops an eating disorder.
Chapter 1

(AP PRESS) Both scientists and science fiction fans were  excited and alamed over the announcement of the " Accidental Invisible Man". The drama unfolded last Wednesday when an unidentified mentally challenged man was grooming himself while preparing for a class trip to the petting zoo. Dr Akman Zwanzia issued a statement earlier today stating " As far as we can tell. the man was rummaging through his mothers medicine cabinet looking for some sort of cream to conceal his adult acne when he grabbed the wrong jar. He applied the cream to his face and arms. Several hours later a student on the bus reported that while licking a window, he observed that his classmates " facie was gone" and notified the chaparone. When the chaparone investigated the students claim she found that indeed, the mans face had vanished. The bus was detored to this facility where he was evaluated."     A fevor soon swept through the small town as investigators swarmed the mans house. Agents from the FBI, NSA,CIA and FDA were seen carrying out bags of what appeared to be toiletries and gay pornographic paraphenalia. An unnamed source within Homeland Security revealled the agencys concern " If this mystery cream actually exists, this could be a greater threat to our nations security than pale skin mexicans".      By  5 PM the mystery was solved and an anxious crowd of onlookers, government officials and retardation advocates assembled outside the hospital for a late day press confrence. Dr. Zwanzia explained " We have accertained, through the help of the Boston Branch of the FBI crime lab, that the individual  applied his mothers anal bleaching cream to his face and arms in order to, and I quote ' be like Casper', end quote".  

The Doctor the deferred and questions to Agent Frank Parker of the FDA's New York field office. When asked if the product will be recalled the agent was quick to reassure the crowd " After extensive testing we have determined that the reaction that took place is an isolated incident and the cream poses no threat to the general public."  When pressed by CNN's Wolf Blitzer questioning why the public is not at risk and why this particular person reacted to the cream in such a way the agent simply explained " because this guy IS a fucking asshole."
    Security footage taken at the boys home was released by authorities shorty after the press confrence.