Let's Play Carnac

Yes, Johnny is gone, but his spirit lives on. So let’s bring back some of that 1970s, groovey, cool fondue fueled times, shag carpet on the “Tonight Show” set and all, with Carnac the Magnificent.

I’ll start it off: Britney Spears’ thong and the White House. Name two places you won’t find a bush in 2009.

And for those of you too young to remember Carnac, shame on you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnac_the_Magnificent

Newsflash GASOLINE $4 a gallon Name one reason why you actually get satisfaction out of a cup of coffee from STARBUCKS.

Excessive alcohol, Making out with homeless people, and Sarah Jessica Parker … Name three things that make me vomit.

Carnac asks…Ed McMahon WTF did you do with 100+millions you made in your lifetime??? You said you broke your neck 1 1/2 yrs ago and haven’t been working but you’re 85 yrs old…oy… I do like how you came out on Larry King and faced the public and accepted responsibility for mistakes but something ain’t right…Carnac wishes you good luck Ed for being a standup guy but doesn’t want any of your financial advise…

MAY A WEIRD PRIEST PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR.

is it friday already?

gottadime said:

MAY A WEIRD PRIEST PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR.

Marilyn Monroe, Ruth Buzzi and Hillary Clinton. Name three women Bill Clinton has not slept with in the last ten years.

Losing lottery numbers and scabs. What are two things trailer dwellers pick a lot?

A Dora the Explorer coloring book and a bottle of Alize. Name two things you’ll ffind in R. Kelly’s bachelor pad.

a hoover vacuum, a straw, and the alvin and the chipmunks dvd i just rented . . . What are three things that are guaranteed to suck

A dog owner’s feet and an overweight Mike Tyson. Name two things that are bound to get licked.

Hillary Clinton smiling while looking down. What Bill Clinton won’t be seeing any time soon in the bedroom.

Geez, I’m doing way too many Hillary jokes.

Yes, yes und yes, dang it. I do lust after her.

5, a funny one.

But for the “Alvin and the Chipmunks DVD”, I swap Zohan, arrgh.

What Munich did to advance the Jewish cause in movies as well as mention of said “Munich’ in “Knocked Up”, Sandler just set back 20 years.

5point6productions said:

a hoover vacuum, a straw, and the alvin and the chipmunks dvd i just rented . . . What are three things that are guaranteed to suck

Dippity-doo.

What is on your dippity in the morning.