Personals

RWG looking for that busty someone.

Must enjoy pyramid schemes and running from the law

This is not a 1 night hook up… but 4 at the most.

You get the idea

4 night hook-up? That’s way too much of a commitment for me. I’m not crazy about pyramid schemes, but I love running from the law.

Funnebone, I don’t think you’ll have any problem finding a girl. You romantic fool!

Funnebone said:

SWM-37-Into long walks candle lit dinners and anal rodeo. Looking for a woman who loves the outdoors, hot dogs and dumpster diving. Lets watch the stars as we sleep under the bridge night after night.

Wretchedly poor, sad old man with a harelip. Looking for guilt-free fun or at least someone to read for me. Prior candle-crafting experience not required but would be appreciated.

(This reminds me of a bit by Dave Attell, “We call ourselves The Unfuckables“)

BaronOfLaughter said:

Wretchedly poor, sad old man with a harelip looking for guilt-free fun or at least someone to read for me. Prior candle-crafting experience not required but would be appreciated.

Fun loving, “curvy,” forty-something gal looking for that special fella who wants to share life with her, her fourteen cats, and her domineering mother. Let’s laugh at the “hairballs” of life as we go through it together with a pledge to NEVER part.

Totally doable ! I love the “hairballs”-of-life part, by the way.

Amy4Birds said:

Fun loving, “curvy,” forty-something gal looking for that special fella who wants to share life with her, her fourteen cats, and her domineering mother. Let’s laugh at the “hairballs” of life as we go through it together with a pledge to NEVER part.

6ft 2in furious type seeks lawyer type for long fulfilling mutually beneficial relationship

swm – 35 – seeking woman to stare at un nervingly for hours on end. would like to smell your fragrent hair, yeah, you know where, will make a dress for you, hope you don’t mind if i borrow some skin. call me.

18 year old male looking for himself… never mind, i just found him.

SWM – 46 – daylaborer.

Turn ons: freshly cut grass, rum raisin ice cream, and bandanas.

Turn offs: Immigration.

SWM, Jim-Bob, 30’s.

Must love Jeff foxworthy, all you can eat buffets, and country fried steak

Hirsute, “bi-curious,” toothless female desperate to explore all the highs and lows that a crystal-meth fueled lifestyle can offer with whoever has any to spare. All offers accepted. Don’t call. Just come over to 134 Highland Street. Now.

Seven-foot-nine male seeks four-foot-two female with a taste for adventure.

SWOCDF- looking for a man who likes to count and has a calculator.123412341234.

Incontinent, bipolar podologist with lazy eye and stress-related scalp psoriasis… Oh, what’s the point ? I’ll just stick to feet.

Estonian pole vaulter with unusually noticeable club foot and nothing to lose. Into long walks, eating asparagus and occasionaly writing haikus in Esperanto. Looking for equally bizarre, evidently made-up kind of person. Sex is no priority, but not necessarily out of the equation. Let’s give each other the chance we’ve been denied by God.

OMG, bwaaa haaaaa! ”...the chance we’ve been denied by God”! I think the Estonian pole vaulter and the “curvy” cat lover could find true happiness together. If they don’t kill each other first.

BaronOfLaughter said:

Estonian pole vaulter with unusually noticeable club foot and nothing to lose. Into long walks, eating asparagus and occasionaly writing haikus in Esperanto. Looking for equally bizarre, evidently made-up kind of person. Sex is no priority, but not necessarily out of the equation. Let’s give each other the chance we’ve been denied by God.

RWG looking for someone with proof of lineage

must be into Gay Pride Parades, smoke bombs, taunts, and bigotry

I’ll say sex is optional, but once you see this, you’ll want to do nothing else.

this match could work, but i don’t think the state would allow it without one of them getting sterilized.

Amy4Birds said:

OMG, bwaaa haaaaa! ”...the chance we’ve been denied by God”! I think the Estonian pole vaulter and the “curvy” cat lover could find true happiness together. If they don’t kill each other first.

BaronOfLaughter said:

Estonian pole vaulter with unusually noticeable club foot and nothing to lose. Into long walks, eating asparagus and occasionaly writing haikus in Esperanto. Looking for equally bizarre, evidently made-up kind of person. Sex is no priority, but not necessarily out of the equation. Let’s give each other the chance we’ve been denied by God.

Looking for someone who doesnt mind a few extra pounds…. Because my midget friend Larry will be joining us.

Looking for someone who doesnt mind a few extra pounds…. Because my midget friend Larry will be joining us.

I’ll let you stare at me unnervingly for hours, but I don’t have any skin to spare.

shaughn72 said:

swm – 35 – seeking woman to stare at un nervingly for hours on end. would like to smell your fragrent hair, yeah, you know where, will make a dress for you, hope you don’t mind if i borrow some skin. call me.

Will I do?

EdRyan said:

6ft 2in furious type seeks lawyer type for long fulfilling mutually beneficial relationship