Finish this sentence.

I wish I could clean off a space on my kitchen counter big enough to…

http://www.funnyordie.com/southernjewishprincess/photo/256761

http://www.funnyordie.com/southernjewishprincess/photo/256775

stop stealing my kids.

My friends seem to think that my…

criminal record is intimidating

Everytime I close my eyes I see….

... fetish for dancing with teddy bears is alarming.

Once I win the lottery…

release the video of our foursome with the donkey

Last night i accidentally :

fell of the roof while i was signaling for the aliens to come give me an anal probe.

How many times do i have to tell you

when you pee on me dont get it up my nose

Vagina would be so much better is they:

Use the anal probe but they know what is wrong with our planet, too much alien intervention, but still would you….

tarafara said:

fell of the roof while i was signaling for the aliens to come give me an anal probe.

How many times do i have to tell you

fillet a walrus on.

could sing to me in French and grant me wishes

Everytime I visit my parents I….

Funnebone said:

when you pee on me dont get it up my nose

Vagina would be so much better is they:

Have to squint from being held in the basement with my mother/sister for 23 years.

Once time in gym class I:

got yelled at by the teacher because my shorts wern’t tight enough

When I go hunting I usually bring:

...enough condoms and cocoa butter for the whole group.

Last week, my boss told me to…

take my pants off and sit on the copier

i find that in the morning i like to…

hardcore masterbate to pictures taken of my best friends mom taken at her 2 yeard old daughters pool party. yesterday i found a sore on my….

Mothers anus

Today I hope my dad doesn’t

ask my friends to stick things in his ass again

My favorite thing to do in my car is…

drive-by cat throwing at pedestrians.

Maybe if I moved a little to the left I could…

stop peeing on the wall and hit the toilet

bagels are yummy if you put

cream cheese and Concord grape jam/jelly on it , yum.

oh, yeah, i heard this one, this lady had her 18th kid the other day

after her uterus fell out, they celebrated at denny’s.

put the clothes in the washer and use

hot piss, the amonia will sterilize, and think of the money you’ll save on detergent!

i like long walks on the beach, especialy when…

my dad isnt drinking when he brings me because he doesnt pound so hard. when you dont use luube for anal sex your…..

gonna make tara really mad

if could get plastic surgery i’d

increase the size of my dick so i could finally satisfy the ladies

i’m going to start a fund for