True or False...

Make a statement about the next person. They answer True or False and WHY…

Q. You like the smell of farts.

true, because compared to your quiffs emma, they are a breath of fresh air

You miss breastfeeding from your mother

False because I still do.

Q. You laugh at old people getting hurt.

true, because laughing at others takes away the pain of being you

you rotate you underwear inside out in order to get another day’s wear out of them

False I don’t bother with the cleanliness of my scrungies. I wear them until they start to hurt or animals are chasing me for blocks to smell the greatness.

Q. Secretly believe that everyone dumber than you should be sterilized.

False, I make no secret about wishing sterility on you

You are holding out for beastiality to become fashonable

false dave made beastiality fashonable when he became prez

Q. You secretly work as a “Queen” at night telling your spouse that you work at the 7 11

True & True – I’m both THE Queen working at the local 7-11, just don’t tell Philip – he’ll have my guts for garters.

you have a serious drug and alcohol problem, you can neither ingest nor swallow

False…..my drug and alcohol problems are not serious, they are hilarious. Also, “have my guts for garters” is officially my new favorite saying.

statement: You can’t actually read.

true-but you forgot the rest of it, you can’t actually read that well when your 3 sheets to the wind.

you roll your boogers into a ball and save them under your pillow

False- i save them under my car seat. Get with the program.

you have nothing to live for.

True – “Nothing” is the name I have given my young asian boy toy who I keep chained up in my cellar. He is all I have left in this sick and disgusting world.

You still wet the bed

true-but only when i’m dreaming of you

you only bathe/shower once a month

True- Most other times I run naked through my neighbours lawns on sprinkler day!

You hate puppies

False, I rather enjoy a nice slab of puppy after a long days work. Puppy is best served grilled with white rice and sweet tea.

You are creeped out by albino’s

false, I don’t see color… or the lack there of.

You wish this true false statement was cleverer.

True because you bore the shit out of me Random White Guy You consider yourself a film snob.

false-i see porn for the artistic expression that it is

you feel that you never met your parents expectations

False, I was abandoned and never went looking for them.

You think cptspaulding hurts peoples feelings.

False at least I hope not its all in fun.

You want to watch a marathon of scrubs.

True, but only because I’m still struggling to find out why Zach Braff has a fan base.

You prefer warm beer.

True, I quite enjoy a tall warm glass of piss….puts hair on your chest.

You find 80 year olds sexually attractive.

true-and what really gets me off is when they’re adding me to their will and have a heart condition

you like to download fettish porn

False, because there’s just nothing like scat porn.

You live in a box inside your head.

(ummm scat IS fetish porn)

False because the T.V told me to think outside the box

Charles Manson is your idol.