I am pretty sure that my new video that most people simply refer to as, Rape Troll, will be what gets me elected king of the world... or at least Viceroy of the Internet! 

After much deliberation, I have decided that if I am to pursue my dream as a hot, male stripper, I will go by the Show-Name of: Warren G. Hard-On. In honor of Warren G. Harding, the 29^th President of the United States of America. I think it is an honorable name that will commemerate the man eternally. Warren G. Hard-On is provocative, tasteful and classy; but most of all…it is Patriotic. So when I hit that stage every night, all oiled up wearing that tear away G-string, I will know that I’m not just doing it for the approval of those drunken middle-aged housewives or for the degrading sum of money I will earn every night (mostly oily singles); I will be doing this wild, cock-tease romp for America!

Let Freedom Ring….In My Pants.

On a sad note, it has been recently brought to my attention that Warren Harding has been dead for the last 85 years. Now knowing this, it saddens me that he will never get to enjoy my show.I had always wished for Warren to watch me perform my routine at the local club, The Man-Hole. All I wanted was for Mr. Harding to come up to me after a show and say “Hey Dan, I loved the show! Keep up the good work!” And in that moment, Warren and I both would know that we had something special. But unfortunately, this will never come to pass….

In Loving Memory,

Warren G

On Wednesday May, 14, my best friend, Josh, proposed to his girlfriend. I was fortunate enough to witness the event. The following is an open letter I wrote to Josh after this joyous occasion:

To My Dearest Friend,
Joshua Jeffery Stifter:
          Engagement. How does one define the word? ‘Webster’s Dictionary’ defines Engagement as: ‘An encounter, conflict or battle.’ Well pardon my French, Mr. Webster, but you can just go ahead and lick my sweaty ball bag. Because the engagement I witnessed was not a ‘Conflict’ is was a ‘Love-flict.’ To me, and engagement is when a person asks for another’s hand in marriage, and then they say ‘yes’, and then they wear rings. Which is exactly what I witnessed last night.
          When I first heard of your intentions of ‘engaging’ a young Miss Jennifer Hunter, a sea of emotions came over my entire body and inhabited every dark orifice I had. An ocean of questions came to my mind. A river flows through my back yard.
           I wondered if these two were ready for such a commitment. I wondered if they were crazy for doing something so crazy. I wondered if I had seen Josh’s wiener more times than Jenny. I wondered if I had seen Josh’s wiener more times than Josh had. I pondered these questions for mere minutes, and I came to the following conclusions: Yes, No, Yes, and Probably.
           After tackling these tough issues, I realized that love isn’t about how old you are, or how crazy you are, or even how many times you’ve seen someone’s wiener. Love is much more than all that. And throughout this year I have seen that you two truly are in love. I’m honored that I got to be there and watch my best friend propose to his girlfriend from behind a tree, like a lonely pervert, and I’m excited for the two of you to start a new chapter in your so-called lifes. Congrats!

Your Pal,
Daniel Degnan

P.S. – I love you

The other day I saw the bad-ass flick, that is cleverly titled: ‘The Incredible Hulk’. As I watching the film, it raised many scientific and philosophical questions, namely in the field of Body Hair. Though the film only touched on the topic very briefly, I felt that it is a topic of great interest that should be further explored. Right now…

Now we all know that Bruce Banner is an average-sized, white male, with dark hair; but when he transforms into The Hulk he becomes a giant, green monster, with green hair. But now what about the rest of the hair on Banner’s body?  That’s the real question. If Bruce Banner grows out a beard does that mean The Hulk has a beard?

Both movies ended with Bruce Banner sporting a nice beard, but he never gets to transform back into The Hulk before the film ends. And why do you think that is?! Because Hollywood is not ready to tackle the big issues! Hollywood can’t answer the question of whether or not The Hulk would have a beard because it would open Pandora’s Box!

If we knew whether or not The Hulk grew a beard, it would raise too many other questions, like: Does The Hulk have pubes? What color would they be? Are they larger than Bruce Banner’s regular pubes? If The Hulk’s pubes are larger, is his wiener larger? Does The Hulk even have a wiener? Does Bruce Banner even have a wiener? Does The Hulk have a green wiener? Does Bruce Banner have a green wiener? Why do I have a green wiener? Is it common among guys? Should I consult some sort of doctor about this?

…..you see……it just raises too many questions….

 

Hello. My name is Dan, and these are my thoughts. (Get It!) Anyways, if you are reading this, that means you’ve stumbled across the little website: Flush Studios.com. Flush Studios is the collective brainchild of troubled youths with too much time on our hands. It is a creative outlet for us and a few of our friends. As you can see, we’ve been working on it for quite some time. It’s a work in progress, you could say. Although, seeing as how this is a website, it will be frequently updated and constantly changing. So I suppose, in this aspect, it will always be a work in progress…

Wow, that was really deep…

I’ll let you all ponder that one while I go make myself a sandwich.

Toodles, Bitches!

(This has been a Dan Thought)

Hello everyone,

We are Flush Studios! We are a little group from Minneapolis, MN. We have a little webpage cleverly titled: Flushstudios.com At our page you will find animations, podcasts, sketch comedy, forums, blogs, unicorns, magic, etc... We encourage all of you to come check us out (sexually). We currently have two videos uploaded here at Funy or Die.com for your viewing pleasure. Check em out, and don't be strangers!

Your Buddy,

Dan Degnan

Flushstudios.com