My father and I decided that I would go out as a welcome mat. Because my name is Matt.
Rating: 100% Funny
Sports fans get to be loud and drunk and effervescent, and I’m jealous. Also, I don’t know what effervescent means.
Rating: 75% Funny
I love your bathroom!
Are you laughing, Daphne? Because I'm telling you, go pee. Go pee right now and see if you can keep laughing.
Rating: 93% Funny