Check this out. A video that shows hilarity and honor are not mutually exclusive.

You Gotta See:

You gotta see Mean Streets. You probably have. But if you haven’t, you gotta see it.

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I love that the GOP calls the media Sexist when it questions Governor Palin’s experience and readiness to be a heart murmer from the Oval Office, but continue to push her as a “Babe” (Rush Limbaugh), delegates wearing campaign pins that read the “Hot Governor from the Cold Country.” They should change the Republican mascot from the Elephant to the Cougar.

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My friend, Chris Henchy, asked me the other day, “if I could only have one work art to look at the rest of my life, what would it be?”

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You know that mail that you get from a bank or the IRS that is an envelope and a letter all in one piece of paper? And you have to rip the edges? Netfliz envelopes are sort of like that. Sometimes, purely by accident, I will keep opening the envelope and tearing perforated edges until there is nothing left of the document itself.

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Hangover #16,254 Edition

I watched some of the Republican National Convention on TV. Man, that convention center is filled with so many white old people, I thought I was watching the National Bingo Championships. If you really want renewable energy, reflect sunlight off of those white faces and harness the energy. In one speech, the actor, Fred Thompson (I guess not a celebrity) was going into such detail about Senator McCain’s heroic time in Vietnam. His battles and his sad capture. I gotta say, McCain went through a lot. He was tortured and held captive for 5 years in a time where most young men are exploring their future. I have a tremendous amount of respect for Senator McCain’s service but I’m not sure why that has anything to do with being President 40 years later. He was strong, he was brave and he is every bit of a patriot as anyone serving in the Armed Forces today. He suffered greatly in an unjust, unwinnable war but yet he wants to have the present day soldier fight to the death which cannot be won. I’m not talking about bravery and I’m not talking about military strength, but if you cannot define victory then you cannot attain it. President Bush said that when the Iraqi’s want us to leave, we will leave. Well, the government that was formed through the democracy we set up has asked us to leave and we should leave. You cannot ask for a more graceful exit than that. Unless of course that’s not what the war was about: (cough) oil. (cough) money. (cough) Weird misogynist ideologues who thrive on punishment and cruelty (cough).

Anyway, if you want me to vote for McCain, let me know what qualifies him today to be President, not what he did 40 years ago. With all due respect.

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You Gotta See:

You gotta see "The Sweet Smell of Success," a classic noir from 1957 starring Tony Curtis as a two bit press agent trying to get in good with the prominent celebrity columnist J.J. Hunseker played by Burt Lancaster. It’s gritty and the dialogue snaps like a Slim Jim.

When I was 23 living in NYC, my roommate, Lars, and I saw this movie at the Film Forum on Houston Street as a part of the NYC Noir Festival. We also saw a double feature of Rear Window and Lost Weekend. The Film Forum is awesome and truly a NY landmark. They always played awesome movies even if the popcorn was dull and cold and sitting in their seat was sitting on an old lady’s lap. I miss living in NYC. You can walk everywhere and it is a place that quickly becomes your home. When you are in your early 20’s, New York City is not the kind of place you try to “Break into” like Los Angeles or Washington, D.C., but rather, NYC is a city of opportunity waiting to be plucked by anyone who takes the time to reap it’s Harvest. And the cool thing about the city, is that it doesn’t get weaker when you pluck from it it’s riches, but the city grows stronger along with you.

The poet Claude Mckay wrote these words that, in my mind, always connected me to New York City as a young man struggling to find a voice, a beer, and hopefully a girl.

"Although she feeds me bread of bitterness,/ And sinks into my throat her tiger's tooth,/ Stealing my breath of life,/ I will confess I love this cultured hell that tests my youth!

Enough of this lovemaking, here’s a clip of Sydney Falco delivering some urgent news to JJ Hunsecker at the famed Jockey Club in NYC. It may start slow, but hopefully, you’ll get into it.

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Have you ever seen this ad? I’m addicted.

Inspired by this ad, I have an idea for Red Lobster’s Shrimp night.

There’s another parody of that song that I absolutely love by Detroit Octane, if you haven’t seen it, here it is. And if you have, watch it again because it’s amazing and it will put you in a wonderful mood… even if you’re at a funeral.

Hangover #16,253 Edition

Flying back from Seattle, WA. Where we performed at the Bumbershoot Festival. We had some fun Myspace shows and I got to hang out with some great comedians and meet some musicians. I’m glad music festivals are doing comedy more and more because we get to perform in these festivals and then get to see great music.

The other night we snuck backstage when Beck was playing. Sneaking backstage can be tricky. He was playing at the Samsung Stage so we pretended we worked for Samsung. I definitely can pass for a Samsung sales rep. I’ve got white eyebrows and I wear knit sweaters and khakis. Security Guards usually trust me. It’s also why I can fly with pot and why I always get picked for Jury Duty. I’m an every man and as I get more and more grey, people seem to trust me more and more which allows me to act more like a child.

I actually got kicked out of the Pineapple Express party down at ComicCon a couple of weekends ago for smoking weed at the party. It was on a roof and people were definitely lighting up but the bouncers grabbed me and told me I had to go.

I told them, “You realize that this is the Pineapple Express party, right? This whole movie is about smoking weed.” They didn’t care.

I later got kicked out of the House Bunny party for transforming a group of homely sorority sisters into a sexy bunch of confident co-eds. Ironic.

Here are some tips that I’ve learned about sneaking into somewhere you’re not supposed to be.

1. Arrive while talking on the phone. Say loud enough for the security guard can hear you, “Yeah, I see you! I’m right outside. Coming in now. Hang up the phone and then give a casual wave to anybody in the distance and then walk right past the guard or bouncer. If they give you a hard time, be super polite and play the “I’m too caught up in the whirlwind of the event to understand all the rules of where I belong. I’m already late.” Play the polite victim and you’re a shoe-in.

2. Wear surgical scrubs and carry an Igloo cooler with two kidneys and when they try to stop you, look at them with deadly seriousness and ask flatly, “Really?” They will let you right in.

3. Worst case scenario: Create a black hole using an atom splitter and a household vacuum cleaner and suck the party into the void. It's an anti-gravitational party!

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If you like to stay on top of politics, check out Mark Haperin’s THE PAGE.. http://thepage.time.com/

It is a great source of political news from every angle and is also a helpful guide for must-read articles and must-see videos. Mark Halperin is a real genius and a part of that genius is not only his sense of humor about politics and himself, but in all of the years that I have followed his reporting, he has always remained extremely impartial and believe it or not it is almost impossible to find that now in modern day journalism. Bookmark the Page and catch Mark when he does Charlie Rose. He’s the man.

His “3 Things to Watch for in Politics Today” Vlog is concise and spot on every time.

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Bad Dreams

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YOU GOTTA SEE:

You Gotta See The Kid with the Golden Arm. A Kung-Fu classic from the Shaw Brothers. A staple on Saturday Afternoons on channel 9 when I was growing up underneath the flight path to Laguardia. A story about protecting a shipment of gold from the dreaded Chi-Saw gang as it travels to a destitute village. The Chi-Saw Gang is a ruthless band of criminals bent on getting the Gold. It’s Golden Arm, Silver Spear, Brass Head and Iron Robe. As Iron Robe says, “What do you expect from a criminal? All we want to do is win.” The Chi-Saw gang is ranked by ability and not by age, although Golden Arm is the most viscuous, he is also the youngest. That is the kind of inspired logic you get from this timeless Kung-Fu Classic. And the wine drinking Agent Hi-To was definitely the inspiration for Str Wars’s Han Solo. "Agent Hi-To is a drunk. Wine is his best friend—Also, Some say he fights better when drunk.” There has been many a night when I came home drunk with a quart of pork lo mein and sat on my bed in my boxers and ate my greasy noodles and watched this pungent classic. (Sorry, ladies. I’m taken.)

Since the Shaw Brothers used the same actors in their movies and the same voice actors when they dubbed their movies, The Kid with the Golden Arm became the hub from which my brother and I would keep track of the casts in the Shaw Brothers’ other movies. In "% Deadly Venoms," Iron Robe’s voice went to Golden Arm’s actor and Agent Hi-To had Brass head’s voice. You need this kind of classification if you really want to discuss KungFu movies in the couch-cushion fort you built until the rumble of a 747’s engine makes the cushion walls break free.

This is a great scene where Swordmaster Lee gets poisoned by Sand Palm (an assassin who has poison on his hands) Agent Hi-To shows up demanding wine. Classic.

Do it up! 

Hangover #16,252 Edition

I just flew Alaska Air to Seattle because to do our Myspace Improv show http://www.myspace.com/myspacecomedy at the Bumbershoot Festival (http://www.bumbershoot.org/).

Alaska Airlines is as organized and efficient as an airline as you would think it would be from the state that literally built a bridge that leads to nowhere and is famous for its remarkable high rate of suicides. Security didn’t even check our bags. They were like, “You flying Alaskan? Even Terrorists won’t fly Alaskan Airlines. Get goin’! My friend, Chad Carter, told me that, much like the Eskimos have a 100 words for snow, Alaskan Airlines has over 100 words for “delay.” When I was a kid in the Go-Go 80’s, I was flying back from a choir trip in Paris (don’t beat me up) where there was a terrorist threat for all USA bound airplanes. These were simpler times when Terrorists would divert a plane to Lebanon or keep a flight grounded on the Tarmac for 10 hours, which is standard today if you’re flying JetBlue. I was relieved to see the Tom Cruise classic, Cocktail, playing as the in-flight movie and I knew then and there, Terrorists would not stay on the tarmac if a movie about Bartenders with a touch of flair is played on a constant loop. I hope the CIA is not reading this because I think I just gave them another torture idea. (P.s. I always wondered why Tom Cruise made Cocktail. I’m a hue fan of his and he is totally awesome, but why Cocktail? Was that literally the only script written that year? Was it because Andrew McCarthy had already sewn up the lead role in Mannequin? Was it the song Kokomo?) .

Check out this ad for the drug Requip that helps with Restless Leg Syndrome.

My Response to this ad:

YOU GOTTA SEE:

You gotta see the movie, “Withnail & I” with Richard E. Grant (L.A. Story & The Player) and Paul McGann (“Dr. Who” in the 90’s). It is written & directed by Bruce Robinson who wrote “The Killing Fields.” This movie seems to be the connective tissue between all of the really cool, hilarious people in my life. This is a movie where everyone who has seen it and meets someone totally cool (whatever that means to you) wants to recommend it only to find out that the person has already seen it and was just about to recommend it to them. If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably cool and I think you would love this movie that you will quote passionately and laughingly in one of your “drunken moments of sincerity.” (Just quoted it.) Enjoy. Here’s a clip where Withnail really needs a drink…

Bush and Cheney are NOT speaking at the Republican National Convention because of Hurricane Gustav. Remember when that dude from Focus on the Family wanted people to pray for rain on the night of Obama’s acceptance speech in an open air stadium?

Well be careful what you wish for because now a real storm is a coming and it’s time for people to stop acting like douche bags and help these people out. Check out George Bush at FEMA. He looks like he’s a12 year old kid on a Sunday night proving to his parents that he did his homework. He says “Preparation” and “Prepared” like a million times, but he looks more scared than the people who are about to go through the storm. (Can't embed this one for some reason...

  http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/08/31/sot.bush.on.gustav.cnn

Enjoy your labor day!