Dick Skin Tuxedo

I know what you are thinking, and yes, I did once rape a sleeping Polish hobo in the streets of Warsaw. I've been in a war film. I once performed tear duct surgery on the singer of My Chemical Romance. I like to masturbate... a lot. Which gets kind of... more »

I know what you are thinking, and yes, I did once rape a sleeping Polish hobo in the streets of Warsaw. I've been in a war film. I once performed tear duct surgery on the singer of My Chemical Romance. I like to masturbate... a lot. Which gets kind of awkward during family reunions. In fact I am masturbating right now. Which is probably pretty dangerous considering the look my cat just gave my penis. It was one of those "I'm gonna eat this man's penis" looks... you know the one. If you have a retarded kid, I'm sorry in advance, but I'm gonna laugh at it. I enjoy Taco Bell brand Crispy Taco Shells. I'm probably not a spam troll. I have no idea what a 1337 haxx0r is, and quite frankly I don't want to know. I am currently writing a book, but I don't know what it's about. I've always felt that a real man should explode on impact. Menstrual blood is NOT funny. Except when it is. Otters are proof that God doesn't exist. Speaking of Otters, I recently found out that Otter Pops don't contain Otters nor Pops, and that I in fact may be alone in lamenting this travesty of advertisement. It's always kinda pissed me off that the Hundred Years War lasted for more than a hundred years, and that an airplane's black box is really orange or some shit. I love hookers. There is a series of porn movies where various whores have a "negro problem". I don't know what this problem could be, but I would bet that the Klan has the same problem. I just realized today that the song "Saints of Los Angeles" by Motley Crue is about date rape probably. Danzig sucks. Leipzig is in Germany. It probably sucks too. Q: Are we not men? A: We are Devo! is probably the best album any band has ever put out. I've never heard the whole thing, but still. I love raisin bran. I could make sweet sweet, passionate love to raisin bran. Maybe I'll do that. I gotta go. « less