the christian children's fund finally sent a picture of our sponsored child.

When Barbie’s out of town, Ken and the gardener make their own dreamhouse.

i’ll take what’s behind pillow number 1.

Children of FOD! F the die bombers- Me

That’s what you get when you search for “barely legal princess dirty sanchez”

Who wants a unicorn ride?

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. --George Burns

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they are going to feel all day.—Frank Sinatra

Playing football at West Canaan may have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want your life!

James Van Der Beek as John Moxon in “Varsity Blues”

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

the christian children’s fund finally sent a picture of our sponsored child.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
-Bill Clinton

Don’t call me, Carlos. I am now, Carla …

Pardon my French, but Cameron’s ass is so tight that if you put a lump of coal up there, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.

Matthew Broderick as Ferris Beuller

“I don’t really think, I just walk.” -Paris Hilton

“I think it was in the Rose Garden where I issued this brilliant statement: If I had a magic wand — but the president doesn’t have a magic wand. You just can’t say, ‘low gas.’” —George W. Bush, Washington D.C., July 15, 2008

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. Eleanor Roosevelt

I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like ‘What I’m going to be if I grow up.’ -—Lenny Bruce

Oh I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody
With somebody who loves me

You’ve gotta wait until the seed grows into a plant. Then you fuck the plant!

Seth Rogen as Cal in “The 40 Year Old Virgin”

“You ever suck dick for coke?”
Bob Saget

The revolution has started! I love you FODDIES! Clayjunky-

“As a lesbian, I’m not comfortable on the cover of a magazine holding another woman,” Rosie O’Donnell

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.——-Sharon Stone

My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
-Erica Jong