Across the room is a lobster in a highchair throwing spaghetti at a very confused babysitter.

Across the room is a lobster in a highchair throwing spaghetti at a very confused babysitter.

While typing up the recipe, an improperly placed Comma turned “Baby Carrots” into something much worse.

well how else would they make baby oil?

Y’know if you just keep staring at the baby it’ll never boil.

Dammit. This means I left a sack of potatoes at day care.

It became clear to little Timmy why he had been fed nothing but butter for the last month

Babies: Fun to make, fun to eat

It puts the marinade on its skin.

Damn you, Anne Geddes.

If you can get past the horrifying cries its delicious

It became apparant to all that Jamie-Lynn Spears had been reading her moms parenting book.

This is ridiculous, that lid is way to small for that pot!

This can only mean one thing—there is a lobster roaming around the house in a diaper!

Umm… you might wanna change me before you add the taters!

Salem, Massachusetts, 1638: World’s first paternity test.

This is just wrong. A baby that size needs to be cooked in a 20 gallon pot.

“Honey hand me the rolling pin, its still moving.”

Mom is this because I shit the bed, or because you don’t love daddy anymore ?

Mommy, is this how you make black babies?

Be sure to flour him first so the gravy will thicken.

“What’s with the surprised look? I told you you’d be in hot water mister.”

“Yeah, I’m not your Daddy, your Mom’s a whore, and your real father’s last name is ‘Cook’. Ironic isn’t it?”

Never shake a baby… Saute them…

“Grandma! Listen! Can’t you hear me? I am not a chicken!”

and they named the baby “stu”