Fortunately, when Gwyneth called in sick on Monday, she was able to provide compelling documentation.

Is it still too early to do a Steve Irwin joke?

The 1,000 year-old tradition of appeasing the Crocodile God with a virgin sacrifice stipulated that she must remain “modestly dressed” and “crowd friendly” during the entire ceremony.

He knows he’ll just be hungry again in an hour

The winning caption sucks and blows

If you think I look dumb, you should see the guy hanging out of the alligator’s ass

In an astronomical twist of irony, Oh Fuk Mee wasn’t only her name, but her last words on this earth.

Gloria, did you hear what happened to Kim? I know, she deserved it—she was always such a croc-tease!

China takes its population control to entertaining new lengths.

“Janet…don’t move…there’s something…in…your hair.”

Stay tuned for more crazy antics on Burma’s favorite game show, “Who wants a Pound of Rice”

In my line of work, usually it’s an Asian getting a mouthful.

Unfortunately, when confronted, the “lay perfectly still” tactic only works with bears.

Hold on, don’t move. I need to take it again. His eyes were closed.

This is how you make Captain Hook look like a pussy.

Show of hands, who just shit their pants?

They don’t fuck around during Malaysian sweeps week.

Wait, wait… if you listen closely you can hear the ocean.

too many sake bombs + free passes to the zoo = fatal foreign exchange student nightmare.

Connie Chung was starting to get exasperated with Maury’s sex fetishes.

Throw yo hands in tha air….and wave ‘em like you just don’t care…

Fortunately, when Gwyneth called in sick on Monday, she was able to provide compelling documentation.

When your personal ad said you were “really into hard croc”...i thought it was a typo.

don’t worry im a professional

Another bland night on Japanese TV.