Bob quickly learned why you don't talk on your cell phone when you're in the same movie theater as Chuck Norris.

Glen would do anything to keep people from noticing his lazy eye.

I couldn’t afford the Scrotorola.

Cellphones banned at school, yet Thad found a loophole.

“I’m gonna have to put you on hold Carl, I’m getting a fax from my ass.”

You should see where I keep my wallet!

Yeah it’s pretty cool. The only down side is the charger plugs into my ass.

Hahaha at people complaining because they didn’t win.

Being a one armed, double jointed phone sex addict was causing Bill some difficulties until he figured out how to kill two birds with one hole.

Bob quickly learned why you don’t talk on your cell phone when you’re in the same movie theater as Chuck Norris.

And this is my cousin from Poland wearing headphones.

Yea, I know its cool, but when it’s on vibrate I shit my pants.

“But officer, technically my phone is hands free!”

Stretch out your anytime minutes! With Verizon!

This guy’s earlobe is lucky it’s not the early 90’s!

World’s Worst Shoplifter.

This guy is crazy!..Sprint has horrible service!

I didn’t know that the tumors a cell phone can give you actually look like a cell phone.

douche: a small syringe with detachable nozzles; used for vaginal lavage and enemas: See also Douche Bag, pictured above

Cram an old fashioned rotary in there, then I be impressed.

A lesser known species of hippie; the douchebag

Worst fashion trend since the Cannon Laser Printer Jock Strap.

The teleporting robot gasped as it realized something had gone terribly wrong.

I also have a VCR in my ass.

Jim knew he had failed his final at Magic University. He was supposed to perform the classic “quarter behind your ear” trick but there was an error in his calculations.

Her pimp wanted to keep her within earshot, but the cheap
bastard wouldn't spring for a bluetooth