It's terrifying to know that this guy sees me when I'm sleeping.

Dear DIE Bombers,

This picture is what you get for being such assholes!

Love, Santa

I know he lives at the North Pole but that son-of-a-bitch Santa is whiter than a polar bear.

OHHHH, DAMN IT! I hate when Santa and Mrs. Claus drink to much egg nog. They always get these crazy ideas for making Christmas calendars.

It's terrifying to know that this guy sees me when I'm sleeping.

I PUBLISHED THIS A 7:00 PM CHRISTMAS EVE F.C.G.... THERE WAS A BUNCH OF OTHERS YOU COULD HAVE PICKED FROM.

I had an uncle who I found under the tree just like this when I was 6.

Ok, Mrs. Claus. Come and find where that mistle toe is hanging ...

This is not Santi Claus. This is his brother, Scanti Clothes.

who needs mistletoe, i'd rather be under you

Mrs. Claus is gonna be super pissed the next time she browses the Craigslist North Pole "casual encounter" ads.

SO IT SCARES YOU CAUSE YOU KNOW HE KNOWS WHEN YOUR SLEEPING, SCARES ME MORE THAT HE KNOWS WHEN IM AWAKE.

After this photo shoot, Life Alert decided not use "Celebrity" spokes people EVER again!

It's better than last year when he took a handful of viagra, rubbed mistletoe all over his body and danced and sang Jingle bells all night..

...and that was the last time I shopped at Macy's in Frisco.

why are all the genuinely hot profiles on man2man2man2man
never local?

I've got a special candy cane for you, little girl.

here let me show you where to pull those Christmas lights
in

If Santa can see his penis it's 6 more weeks of winter.

I bet you can't guess where your new toy is.

Hey Santa, the recession can't last forever. In the meantime, you do what you gotta do. Now, turn to the left for me.

to think you saw him making out with your mom!! NOW PICTURE IT!!

Apparently ALL of his cheeks aren't rosy.

*get Santa the fuck off me* I'm a Goddamn elf and I can't breath*