Ted's power of invisibility stopped working at the most inopportune times...

"If I don't see them, they can't see me...if I don't see them, they can't see me...if I don't see them, they can't see me..."

Ah, timing is everything. If Dr. Smirnoff had left his office a minute later, he would have noticed the naked man, leaned over to help him, been pulled over by his weight, fallen over the edge and died. Instead, he'll have lunch with his mistress and go back to work.

Damn. I guess I need to call my sponsor.

We've secretly replaced this guys dignity with 100 proof vodka, lets see if he notices

Ted's power of invisibility stopped working at the most inopportune times...

Help me Jesus, or the man in a trench coat.

Carl didn't know which was worse....the splinters in his penis, or the shame from being raped by a dolphin.

okay, found my contact lens; where are my pants?

On second thought, I'll pick "Truth."

Jack Black is...the Terminator.

I will give you twenty dollars to smell that top rung.

Hardcore Chutes & Ladders game

One minute i was up $15,000...

If his penis didn't have kung fu grip, he never would have made it.

At the risk of looking stupid, Stephen regrettably said,"Of course I know what a Dirty Pier Job is."

The crack of Don.

$100 says that is Baltimore... and my ex.

Cameraman: “That’s it Larry, work it, work it. A little more spice. You’re a tiger Larry, a tiger!”

I can't believe my shrink has disowned me in my time of obvious vulnerablility...

Sadly, this was not yet rock bottom for Tom Okaletchy.
That would come in two hours...

Actress Darryl Hannah reprises her role in Splash 2.

Quit checking your watch buddy. You missed it by about 20 seconds.

At that moment, Joe decided to get his life together and pull himself up out of the gutter!

After aquaman came home early from a day of saving lives,jim ducked out the same way everyman does when hes sleeping with some elses wife.

Maybe it's "f*** a duck" and not "f*** a dock"...