Skills: I can type 45 WPM, know Excel, and get rid of your ant problem.

“there’s no way I’m letting you take away my anteater porn”

Hello, Funny or Die Tech support, how can I help you?

Cleveland Zoo’s Geek Squad…......

i’m tried of this im going with apple

Credenza: it dangle counstable 27, plumage vapid, also weasel spleen quid non-sequitor.

The only thing more odd than an anteater on a laptop is what he’s hiding on the screen.

President Bush, again defended his Secretary of Ants…

President Bush, once more, defended his appointed Secretary of Ant Defense.

Actor Adrian Brody has signed on to star in a sequel to the 1995 movie “Hackers”

carrie bradshaw feverishly types a column about her problems with mr. big. “ugh. he loves jazz.”

We never did figure out who was sending out all those strange, encrypted emails from our account.

“A photo from the writers room of the movie “Urban Cowboy”

with budget cuts at microsoft, tech support had to be outsourced to south america.

Oh! what you meant was that you’re uncircumcised

oooh you meant

“Good evening, my name is Chaz, I’ll be your waiter this evening. Tonight’s special is whole, woodland Aardvark stuffed with toasted “hormigas culonas,” in a Liquid Crystal reduction and served atop a bed of Mandarin Electronica Risotto.”

Ok Busted! I’m not really an 18 year old, big busted, leggy blond who enjoys pillow fights.

Ardvark not included.

“Hi, I’m a Mac” “And I’m a PC” “And we’d just like to say, fuck ant-eaters”

There’s Clarington! Stop him from writing a genius caption!

With the heat being shut off and the oven recently breaking, Andrew cuddled up to the only source of warmth in his apartment.

God damnit!! If your not gonna learn to use the home keys then theres not much I can help you with!

“It looks like your trying to type with an anteater, would you like help?”

When asked if the ant-eater was logging on for porn…”Look I spend most of my life poking around in holes, I don’t need to see people do it.”