You got married?

Fall is nearly here! Watch as Martha Stewart shares her favorite ways to keep midgets out of your pumpkin patch.

Don't worry about the bears sir, I sent my two best Canadian Mounties...hold on, I think I hear them coming back now.

I wonder how it feels to stand next to a 16 year old millionaire pop star, when you're an out-of-work actor crammed in a stifling Blue Genie costume that smells of other people's B.O. and failed dreams...

You should feel honored pumpkin head - normally I dont give 2 shits.

Hey dude,your tires are balled.

Fuck you, Ethiopia.

Throw in a hand full of white marbles and we have us a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos!

Honey, can you see my areolas in this outfit?" "Oh, definitely yes.

Wakey, wakey, eggs and rapey!

That's what happens when you ride a penny-farthing without an old timey mustache. Idiot.

This is what happens when poker playing dogs can't cover their gambling debts.

Nothing funny about blind people trying to find a landmark.

Name 3 things that make you wet.

Captain's log.

These damn Cialis commercials are getting weirder by the minute.

Sometimes one does go back after trying black.

Felionel Richie belting out his hit "Hello"

Gotham is MY City...they also Gotbacon , Gotbutter ,Gotdonuts and Icecream.

I hope they're wearing condiments.