BobbyMcPresscott

Futuristic, self lacing sneakers? Are you prepared to reap what you sow? Do you really think it will end there? Surely you realize that if Nike gives their customers this inch, the masses will only want a mile. Next thing you know the fanboys will be demanding Nike branded size adjusting jackets to ... more >

Futuristic, self lacing sneakers? Are you prepared to reap what you sow? Do you really think it will end there? Surely you realize that if Nike gives their customers this inch, the masses will only want a mile. Next thing you know the fanboys will be demanding Nike branded size adjusting jackets to complete the ensemble! Then, just when you think it’s over the world will grow tired of wearing its freaking sweet futuristic clothing in boring, antiquated motor vehicles! The masses will rise in protest, demanding Nike deliver unto them hoverboards so that the righteous awesomeness of 18 year old movie apparel might fully shine. Only then will you see the error of your ways, as modern man takes to the skies on half inch plastic. Soon the bodies will fall from the sky, and blood will fill the streets. Your children will cower under their beds, unsure of when the next body will plummet through their bedroom ceiling. The world will descend into eternal darkness, and having brought about the end of the world YOU and YOU ALONE will shoulder the burden of all the world’s sorrow.

Or you could just suck it up and put on some Reebok. Your call, HITLER.