Clarington

Whilst stealing other people's creative efforts to create borderline-offensive parodies to pointlessly post on the internet, one must occasionally stop and recognize the people who appear in said stolen content.  Since many of you on the internet are younger than 80, you may only have rudimentary knowlege of someone like Dick Powell (Star of "Meat to People"), but I assure you that he was once a star of the caliber of Jared Leto or Jeremy Sisto or Jimmy Pardo or one of those people that appear so often in Entertainment Weekly.

DICK POWELL -MEAT TO PEOPLE

Dick Powell, in fact, was known as the "Male Beyoncé " of his time.  He starred in over 16,000 movies and musicals and was married to June Allyson on no less than 6 different occasions.  As a hobby, he scoured the highways of the Southwest for the bones of drifters and hobos, which he proudly displayed on his front lawn.  A race driver of some note, he once went so fast that he won the Indy 500 in only 400 miles, but was disqualified when it was learned the car was running on "sheer moxie ".  He also was a personal friend of Hitler, although in his defense, it was way before Hitler was bad; in fact, they had a falling out right before Hitler turned evil.  He left show business and became a professional golfer at the age of 102 in 2006, and married the late June Allyson again in the fall of 2007.  He is currently chairman of Time Warner.

POLKA DICK 1-4 - VARIOUS ARTISTS

Of course, everyone knows Leonard Nimoy, who played "Spocky " McCoy on Voyage to the Bottom of Space .  And many of you may recognize the Steve Martin-esque silver hair of Peter Graves, best known as "one of the voice-over people on A&E's Biography " and "James Arness's brother ".  That's a young Sam Elliot (Lonesome Dove, The Big Lebowski, The Big Lonesome Lebowski ) driving the car with Peter in PD2.  The always fabulous Anthony Zerbe gets an envelope from a bewigged Leonard in PD3, while it's Battlestar Galactica 's own John Colicos who gets washed up at Nimoy's sandalled toes in PD4. (And, no, I mean the original Battlestar Galactica , not the current one, which at the moment is sans Colicos.  Jesus, I swear, kids today, they think they invented Battlestar Galactica , they don't realize that every generation thinks they invented Battlestar Galactica .)

MORE NEXT WEEK: The story of the bucket of water in "The Earthquake Family" - Where is it now?