I started so young
Most dancers never learn how
To handle the "snakes"

so this would explain
my beautiful wife brenni's
fear of snake-like things

taking the belief
that all kids should have a pet
just alittle too far!

here i sit in class,
writing hiaku about snakes
instead of homework...

A young Snake Pitkin
Thought of escaping New York
Whilst shitting his pants

Boa constrictors
With dear little baby bait
Fun autrocities

What should we feed him?
Oh rats, we are out of rats
this baby should do

Poor Florida kids
That Darwin was right I guess
Weed out the dumb ones

Shitty lookin' room
and a snake on a baby.
That seems about right.

Another baby
in protective custody.
My taxes at work.

Let's take a picture.
Of what? Snake on the baby?
Why not?! That sounds safe.

Yum, baby tastes good!
Too bad the plastic coating
Sticks in my anus.

Where is snake charmer
A sidewinder sleeps tonight
gone to buy mongoose

It was heading south
and then it got a good whiff
and this end spit up.

Release my serpent
My wife wants a new baby
I meant trouser snake

Parents are trying
Have baby learn slithering
Lawyer in training

What is this you say?
It's the onesie trouser snake
John Holmes great nephew

Our babysitter
Can change a mean diaper
and she has no hands!

Wrong pacifier
Another costly mistake
Stopped his crying though

Have you lost your mind?
You honestly disgust me.
It needs a rattle.

YOU STUPID FUCKER
I SAID GET BABY A SNACK
YOU MORON BASTARD