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Do you enjoy ice cold beverages? I know I do. There's only one problem: for an ice cold drink to have any kind of longevity, you need to load it with ice. Ultimately, if you don't drink fast enough, you're left with your original drink plus a whole lot of melted ice: AKA watered down bullsh** (WDBS for short).

That's why I've come up with a method you can use starting today to keep your drinks cold for long periods of time, to never again have to contend with WDBS. However, be warned, it requires planning, discipline, and a passion for ice cold beverages.

This method only works if you can anticipate between a half hour and an hour beforehand that you will be thirsty, depending on the size of glass you use and if the original beverage has been in the refrigerator or not. That being said, let's begin.

Step one: Select a glass. Many factors of the glass you select will come into play, most especially the size and the material with which it has been made. A tiny glass made of steel will work much better than small glass made of glass which will work much better than a large glass made of plastic, which in turn will work much better than a gigantic glass made of wood. I think at that point it would be considered a goblet, but that's not important. (This wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermal_conductivity might help you in making an educated choice in beverage container composition material, but personally I don't understand a lick of it) Also shape of glass determines the surface area to volume ratio, which also might be important, I'm not entirely sure as all of this is guesstimates anyway, and no actual studies are being cited for this tutorial.

Step two: Select your beverage. This is also important in regards to the time factor. A refrigerated beverage will obviously work faster. A non-refrigerated beverage can be catalyzed by a single ice cube, but that defeats the purpose (almost) of avoiding WDBS. Also, unfortunately, I don't think this method will work with most alcoholic beverages (unless it's a pussy 2 proof drink, again, unscientific at best)

Step three: Pour beverage into glass. Ok, you'd think that's all I should write for this step, but I need to make it clear that you MUST not fill the glass to the brim. Leave a solid 5% of the glass or more empty. Or fill it 95% or less. However you want to look at it. If you haven't figured out what step 4 is yet, you'll understand why soon.

Step four: Place glass in freezer. This could be preceded by an additional step: clear stuff out of the way to provide room enough for your glass to be placed in your freezer without tipping over. It's far too long of a step to include on it's own though, and it thoroughly describes the danger of the current step. So there you have it.

Step five: Wait a while. Depending on the factors of steps one and two, this could be anywhere between 3 minutes and 6 hours. Plus it's a personal preference of how much of your drink frozen (half frozen, or half thawed? what kind of person are YOU?)

Step six: This is the FUNNEST step, but so far I've only seen it happen with milk. Carefully remove the glass from the freezer so you can get a good look at it's contents.. and then tap the side firmly (a single tap is all you need). The liquid sometimes just instantly crystallizes before your eyes. Ok, enough of that step.

Step seven: Enjoy your drink. Go ahead, enjoy.

Step eight: Repeat, but this time with 4 glasses, because you realize you've just spent a half hour on a drink that you drank in 20 seconds, definitely an amount of time in which ice cube meltage would not result in WDBS.

And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the first of many to come in a long line of Erik's Tips for Life in Blog Form.