So, I hate to break it to you. Ya, you the American! But we Canadians have a plan. It's a good plan. I felt that it was good enough that you'd need to know. To prepare. My fellow Canadians may call me a traitor. But I don't care. Truth is. . . we're invading. I know this might come as a shock to you. It's all true.

Our plan is to first infiltrate your country with our shitty brands of beer. You know, the stuff that's closest to yours. You may have seen it, you guys call it molson, we call it Canadian or Blue. Yup, that stuff is garbage. Well once you get used to the slight difference in taste, we drop the good stuff on you. Wham! hammered! Your beer is sucky-ass weak. Once you're drunk off-a like 3 beers you all pass out, we sneak across the border en-mass and steal all of your jobs! HA! HA! HA!

Oh also we will repaint the white house to it's proper colour. Pink. That's right your white house used to be pink, until we burnt it down, yes, we burned it down. We a group of rowdy, then british(irish) soldiers stormed down to the white house and burned it down. these men then sat in front of the fire ate marshmallows and offered you guys proper beer. In the war of 1812. That we won. You can tell, because we're not the 51st state of Canada.

We never got real close after that. You didn't like us much. We went our seperate ways while watching each other with shifty eyes. Gold rush came. You guys tried to fuck us. We had mounties. They looked like douches, but man they were hard as fuck. World War 1 showed up and we got FUCKED up. We then got angry and kicked the shit outta some Germans, we got our neutrality from England, you guys got jealous. World War 2 came down, again we fucked shit up, you guys sorta walked behind us going "Where did the Canadians go?", "What happened to all the Nazis?", "Where's all our smokes?"

Then you guys got weird. The cold war. What a bunch of Bullshit. All the guntoting nuts came outta the woodwork. Religious garbage ran outta people's mouths like shitty water out of a backed up toilet. Nam? C'mon. Now we're at this debaukle of a USA. Corporations are running everything. Fundamentalists are appearing out of nowhere. You guys consistantly put the world in a state of fear. Your government is like a boxer with a glass jaw. Oh he can hit hard, but he'll crumble the first time he gets hit. Oh ya, and follow you into the parking lot later and shoot you in the back of the head.

I'm gunna finish up by quoting a good friend of mine. "Mr. President, put up that wall!"