While I am in LA, I am staying with my good friend Seth . He's hilarious and a great friend**. But he's the kind of guy who's on MySpace, not Facebook. So he's got some problems.

Trying to be a good roomie, I did a little grocery shopping. I went to Trader Joe's which may possibly be the high-light of my trip. I am not saying that to dis LA. My experience at Trader Joe's was Zen-like. The one on 14th St in Manhattan is insane 24/7. I have only been once, on a Tuesday at 2pm, and the line was snaking to the door. Complete nightmare.

To tell the rest of the story there is not way around this fact: I like a lot of fiber in my diet. I take psyllium husk caps. They keep things moving if you know what I mean (poop). I had to buy some in LA and I figured hippie-dippie Trader Joes would have them. They didn't have straight psyllium husk but they had something called "Colon Cleanse" and I figured that's close enough. I come home later that night to find my "Colon Cleanse" defaced by Seth.

A note with a question mark. (Note the bottle of "Colon Cleanse" with a drawing of one's colon. And note the lovely LA light.)

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DOING IN MY HOUSE?"

This note has some problems. The Highlighter. Seth couldn't grab a pen? People who write with highlighters are telling themselves "I am not worth it." The Handwriting: I know the standard thing to say with creepy handwriting is "looks like a serial killer." But this really does look like a serial killer. I thought to prove the point I would show you an example of the Unabomber's handwriting.

I actually think the Unabomber's handwriting is neater that Seth's. Yikes.

In conclusion, yes I buy pills to help me digest my food but Seth is a green-highlighter Unabomber. Which would you rather be?

** Although from the comments Seth has written on my FOD blog, it would be hard to tell that he and I are great friends as he is horribly mean to me. He is just mad because I owe him $26,000.