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JackieClarke's Blog: Wayne Newton Mouth

 
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JackieClarke

by JackieClarke

Hello, FODers,

We'll be spending this week of blogging together and I am thrilled. I am NYC based but I am in Los Angeles for the month of June doing a show at UCB LA called "Showgirls: The Best Movie Ever Made, Ever! " This means I have plenty of free time to devote to my blog. You are welcome.

One of the things I have noticed since I have been in LA is an occurrence I am calling "Wayne Newton Mouth." Wayne Newton Mouth or WNM is when a person has plastic surgery on their face and end up with Wayne Newton's mouth. I noticed it on a woman at the gym, it was on the guy with the camouflage pants and "Just for Men" dyed hair biking at the Grove. I think everyone who gets plastic surgery gets the same mouth. Don't believe me? Let's take a peek.

This is Wayne Newton

Look at his mouth. I have seen clowns at children's parties with a less creepy mouth. (Obviously there is a lot wrong with the Wayne Newton photo: the make-up, the eyes so tight he looks like he's impersonating Renee Zellweger, the Mystic Tan, the old-man chest hair, but today we are focusing on just the mouth.)

Meg Ryan has Wayne Newton Mouth.

And she has some weird boobs. It is as if she asked for a mid-belly boob job. "I want HUGE boobs, hovering over my belly button."

Jocelyn Wildenstein has a horrifying example of WNM. Jesus, that woman is scarier than the "Hostel" movies.

How do you think me and my daughter look with Wayne Newton mouth?

Pretty hot.

Coming up tomorrow. Ali Lohan a cougar?

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Comments (12)

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Funny and insightful.

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

i read in the new york times, that the reason Jocelyn Wildenstein ‘wayne newton lips’ are so full is because she’s the first woman to ever use her VJ lips in a transplant operation.

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

wait til you see someone with WAYNE NEWTONS ASS , its really danke schoen !!

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

I’d kiss you no matter what the mouth.

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

Jackie Clarke is a horrible person. You know how people joke about ‘top shelfing’ ? Well, she actually did it. Shit in the toilet tank at my land lords wake. Not cool.

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

Nice- doll looks great

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

I have a feeling this is going to be the greatest week ever! Sorry, chemotherapy, but you’ll have to wait till NEXT week!

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

Someone tell Seth thats called “upper decking”. And in some cultures its a way to honor the dead.

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

when i was in 4th grade, robert wands spit on me in the bathroom, so i grabbed a piece of shit out of the toilet and threw it at him, but it just missed him and stuck against the wall…what’s that called??

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

I’m going to go with “Sticky Bomb”..... Survey Says—X. Johnson family for the steal.

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

Your daughter is adorable!

posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam
 

hey. listen. you don’t live here so you don’t know. but there’s an unspoken law in los angeles… no matter how jacked up someone’s face is due to plastic surgery… you are required to not only act as it it’s completely normal but praise them for it’s rejuvenating effects. It’s a lot like living in the movie INVASTION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. Same rules apply…Don... more >

hey. listen. you don’t live here so you don’t know. but there’s an unspoken law in los angeles… no matter how jacked up someone’s face is due to plastic surgery… you are required to not only act as it it’s completely normal but praise them for it’s rejuvenating effects. It’s a lot like living in the movie INVASTION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. Same rules apply…Don’t scream, walk away slowly and pray no one puts a pod under your bed.

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posted about 1 year ago · Report Spam