BIG_DIRTY_AL

I would like to begin by saying that I do in fact love you. However I am... more »

I would like to begin by saying that I do in fact love you. However I am not your papi, and my love is conditional. Here are just a few of those conditions:1)You have to stay funny, at ALL times. 2)You are never allowed to do another bit involving chicken EVER again. 3)You must grow out your arm-pit hair under your right arm only, and condition it daily with jojoba oil. 4)Within five years you must be the star of a major motion picture, or I will leave you for Sarah Silverman (even though she will never be the star of a major motion picture)You will never get the full list,I want to keep you on your toes, always wondering if you are doing enough to keep my love. And just to let you know you're NOT! So if you want to save this relationship it's up to you to put in the work, and soon cuz you ain't gettin any younger!