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March 21, 2010


So I was recently the victim of a hit and run, but I wish it had been a run and hit, because then I might have just gotten like a dead leg or a bruised arm instead of a caved-in cheek-face and snapped-in-tway collarbone...  Running and hitting is way more personable than hitting and running.  Just watch the madula oblongada scene from Waterboy and then the Brad Pitt death scene from Meet Joe Black and vote which impact you would rather be on the receiving end of - both are fucking hilarious to watch but only one would be funny a couple days after experiencing. 

But honestly, thanks to the demon bitchface who clobbered me, for at least calling 911.  If the useless cops ever bother to follow up on that, you will likely be supporting me through my titanium years (as in golden years but with fucking bionic hardware, as if I needed more issues at airport security lines).

Bottom line, look both ways when you cross the street, and then look again, and then... you know what, just avoid streets in general, shit hurts!