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Published June 07, 2011



  "The picture was of me and I sent it" were the damning words uttered by New York's 9th District Rep. Anthony Weiner.  A contrite Rep. Weiner, near tears, proclaimed, "I am deeply ashamed." Apparently Mr. Weiner is ashamed of packing heat.  I can't, for the life of me, find anything to be ashamed of.  Ok, he lied, but that's his job.  Do you think you get elected by telling the truth?  Of course not.

  Republicans everywhere are ejaculating uncontrollably, with this lay-up, high morale ground, opportunity to rally the troops.  Don't blame Republicans, their just inherently dickheads.  I can relate, not to being Republican, but to being a dickhead.  C'mon GOP, give the guy a break, he didn't even pull his cock out.  Do you know the kind of restraint it takes to NOT take a proper dick pic?  I'll send a dick pic to anybody.  My mom, dad, priest, foreign dignitaries, guy pretending to be girl on craigslist, etc.  Dick pics are fun. 

  This is like the Sears catalog or "Silk Stalkings (USA Network)" of dick pics.  It's featherweight porn. Brett Favre showed us all  4 pathetic inches of his excuse for a penis.  Weiner is going at least 7 thick inches deep and he won't even show us the goods.  What kind of shit is that Weiner?  He should be getting slammed for giving us the most literal cock-tease of the 21st century, not for lying about it.  I just wanna see it.  Just for a second.  C'mon Weiner.  Weiner, Weiner, Weiner, Weiner. 

  If we've learned anything, it's that Democrats and Jews have big dicks.  So he sent a "lewd" photo to some random chicks on twitter.  Big whoop.  Anybody that's been on craigslist at any point from 2006-2009 has seen my penis.  And let me tell you, it wasn't a coy, stealth approach at cock-teasery like Mr. Weiner.  My dick pics were an affront to anyone on the internet.  Imagine a drunk David Lee Roth mixed with Buckwheat and Charles Manson during Woodstock and that was my penis, circa 2007. 


This is just the tip of the iceberg.  I said "just the tip".  You get it? I'll be back with more dick jokes

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