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October 16, 2014
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Today in Ebola

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Ebola still hasn’t offered to pay for that window it broke with its baseball. (Credit: Wikimedia commons)

I don’t want to write about Ebola anymore. It’s upsetting and it makes me worry about my mom’s friend who is a nurse. So let’s get all the Ebola news of the day out of the way in one fell swoop and we can all get back to slowly dying of heart disease, k?

The Dallas hospital apologized for acting like dumbasses when Ebola patient Thomas Eric Duncan showed up on their doorstep.

Ebola patient Nina Pham will be moved to the National Institute of Health in Maryland for treatment, and away from the Keystone Kospital.

There are new suspected Ebola cases in Madrid, New Haven, and anywhere someone has a cough and an African accent.

Don’t panic about Ebola.

Eh, go ahead and panic.

Cute puppy is terrified of stairs.

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