The new Pussycat Dolls album isn’t selling well.
No shit. People don’t want to listen to the girls who sing “Loosen Up My Buttons”, they just want to SEE them loosen up their buttons.
No one wants to see Harry Potter naked .
No shit. Daniell Radcliff has a nude scene in the play Equis, but tickets aren’t selling. They should have cast Hermione instead.
No one likes the Shrek Musical.
No shit. No one liked the sixth sequel of the film either.
Sharon Stone wanted to give her son botox for his smelly feet.
No shit. That’s how she takes care of herself, so that's how she thinks you take care of a baby.
Phish is getting back together.
No shit. It’s not fun smoking weed in your basement alone. Better to do it with your buddies while singing along to "Farmhouse".
Senate passes bailout bill.
No shit. Thanks to add ons like tax breaks for “wooden arrows on toys for children” it finally seems ready to pass. Hurray, our problems are over!