Full Credits

Stats & Data

41Funny
34Die
3,344
Views
November 11, 2015
Published
Description

Slow down boys, leave some mystery for the general election. Don't give it all away in the primaries!

Guys, this may come as a shock to you but there was another Republican debate last night. None of us saw this coming. Well, if you pay very close attention to the race, perhaps it was on your radar but for most it was a total surprise. Wasn’t there one just two weeks ago? (Yes, there was one two weeks ago.)

Before any of us get too nervous about not being on the pulse of American politics, it is possible to suggest the pulse of American politics is beating too fast? Like, we are just now hitting the one-year mark till the election and these old dudes (and lady dude, Carly Fiorina) are moving at such an insane speed and saying such insane stuff, their risk of just passing out before next November is skyrocketing.

Trump’s closing statement was, “I want to make our country greater than it’s ever been,” which should make us all feel OK for missing it because it sounds like no new ground was really covered.

Jeb Bush wasn’t called on a lot and complained about it. Again, sorta what we’ve been seeing this entire election season. Ben Carson’s closing statement was, “There is something special about this nation, and we must embrace it and never give it away for the sake of political correctness,” which sounds kinda creepy, making it 100% on brand for Carson.

Looks like things were pretty run-of-the-mill at this underground Republican debate. This might be a wild idea but what if we waited like, I don’t know, two months before we got the boys together again? That way they could stir up some real trouble and really nail down how they’re gonna get rid of immigrants. It’s only the primaries; we’ve got a long, long road ahead of us.

Advertisement