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December 21, 2009
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Internal Monologue Required Contest #1.5

11. I cannot believe he talked me out of wearing a condom last night. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
- jessicaligula
10. I CAN look straight, I know I can, it's mind over matter, this part is perfect for me, it will make me a star. Why is that cameraman looking at me? God he's cute! NO! Wait! I CAN look straight...
-JoeLeeThree
9. I'm smiling because I know something you don't...my sexual re-assignment surgery is almost complete...yup, 3 months ago I didn't have a penis...hey where you going?
-Jams3kids
8. Who says JC Penney can't make a good Ed Hardy knock-off? I just know I'll finally make some friends at school wearing this beauty.
-Amy4Birds
7. Can we just hurry up? Pablo is waiting for me at the Mine Shaft.
-drwho
6. Oh, Gary- I love it when you rub behind my ear.
Rub harder- yes, YES!
-jbcmpart
5. Touching my carbuncle gives me a woody! I kid you not!
-jimbobalouie
4. Shit. This sweater looks like a cheap calendar from a suburban Chinese restaurant - and I look like their fucking delivery boy. On top of that, someone wore it before me and had head lice. I don't know if I can hold this dumb ass smile much longer. After I get paid, I'm mailing the money to Mom and hanging myself. Once this photo's out, my life is over anyway.
-keibar
3. If this guy to my left doesn't stop caressing my neck, it's go time...And by go time I mean gay sex.
-westsideslant
2. I know you adore me, you sneer out of jealousy. Hmmm, who should I let talk to me at the gym today?
-ideeclare
1. Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful. Now if I could just do something about this head lice and the fact that this shirt is about to get me pummeled and my hair hurts when I fart...
-Gerhardquffaw (you had me at my hair hurts when I fart)
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