Full Credits

Stats & Data

January 28, 2010


Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina 
dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the 
checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. 

What did she think I had, an elephant? 

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd  lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect  diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to 
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled
with my story.) 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the 
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an 
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a  heart attack he
was laughing so hard. 

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.