Successful Restaurateurs of Color Open First Ever “Green Bean Casserole Fusion” Hot Spot, To Rave Reviews
Jeffrey Smith has been a chef all over the world. He’s dabbled in almost every cuisine, from authentic Mexican food to Parisian dishes. His current venture, however, is making waves and changing the landscape of nourishment, as we know it.
“It all started on a dangerous adventure I was on.” he begins his tale. “I found myself stranded at a predominantly caucasian Thanksgiving dinner. I believe they called it ‘Friendsgiving’, as they had depleted their trust funds and were cut off from their parents.” Smith goes on to explain that he was, at first, mortified at how many of the attendees brought a dish he had never heard of. Green bean casserole.
“A casserole solely based on green beans? I was even looked at oddly for questioning it. Come to find out, this was a tradition amongst most of their families! The Midwest never ceases to amaze me.”
After tasting the multiple options of this foreign dish, one thing was very apparent to Smith. “It was disgusting. It had the consistency, and taste, of what I imagine the food they ate outside of The Matrix tasted like. It was my duty to do something about this.” That very week, Chef Smith went to work on several prototype recipes, but not without frustration.
“When I inquired about the ingredients from several sources, I noticed that no spices or seasonings were EVER mentioned!”
After drinking many bottles of wine, per the recipe, Smith finally discovered the secret to this mysterious regalement.
“Drinking the wine had dried out my palette so much, not to mention, I was drunk. At this point, anything remotely edible was just what the doctor ordered.”
He then replicated the process, over and over, inviting his whitest friends to stop by for wine and dinner. They urged him to spread the good news and share his incantation of their childhood with the masses.
“…and the rest, as they say, was misery. Wait, …history, I meant history.”
That was 2 years ago. Now, deep in the heart of Gary, IN, one of the most up and coming ethnic hipster neighborhoods is the home of Vapid. Ranked by Fortune Magazine as the Best Worst New Michelin Star Restaurants of 2017, Vapid provides the full experience that surrounds green bean casserole.
“When you walk in the door, you are immediately overcome with the feeling of being hungover. We release dogs to lick the face of every guest who enters. We even have the audio of ‘Friends’ reruns playing, instead of music. And of course, plenty of dry wine.”