In a year with this many real-life monsters, traditional jack-o’-lanterns just aren’t gonna cut it this Halloween. So print out these pumpkin-carving patterns of 2015’s scariest. Just click the pumpkin for a downloadable pdf!


Kim Davis

This Kentucky goblin woman is sure to put the fright in your night! Why wait for your pumpkin to slowly turn rotten when Kim Davis was born that way?!


Jared Fogel

Here’s one that’ll definitely scare the kids. In fact, if they’re smart, they’ll probably just turn right around!


Donald Trump

Unfortunately, pumpkins aren’t quite orange enough to match Donald’s skin but people will still get what you’re going for.


The Fat Jew

For extra authenticity, wait for someone else to carve this, steal it, and then pass it off as your own!


Bill Cosby

Unlike the countless women he’s taken advantage of, this spooky pumpkin will ensure you never fall asleep again!


Ann Coulter

This one will be extra fun to carve cause afterwards you can throw it in the trash and never talk or even think about it again.


Robert Durst

Make sure to let this pumpkin sit out for a good 10 years or so, so the texture is just right. Then go to town with this pattern. THE BURPING!!!


Illustrations By Brian Taylor

Pumpkin Carving Artist: Simone Duff

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