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Published December 25, 2012

                                                              Django Unchained: Movie Review

                                                                                    BY

                                                                          JOSHUA PROCTOR

                                                          ( This might have some spoilers in it so beware)

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I just got done watching Django Unchained. Pretty good. I would give it a 3 out of 5. It could have got a 4 out of 5 but the length of 2 hours and 46 minutes seems like it could have been cut down to like 1 hour and 30 minutes. But you might say " Joshua I am sure that if Quentin Tarantino wanted it shorter then it would have be shorter". And I would reply "Fuck you here are some tips anyway".

1. Cut the number of dick and balls injuries down
There is no need for 11 people getting shot in their junk. I mean after the 3rd time it gets pretty old.
2. Speaking of cock and balls
Go ahead and cut that whole scene out where we can see Mr.Charles's ding dong. Not only is it pointless but it just makes me sad for some reason. (if you need this scene replace Jamie with Christoph Waltz)
3. Parade
The part where they are walking from one part of the farm to the other farm. WE DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT WHOLE 36 MINUTE WALK! WE GET IT! IT IS FAR AWAY
4. Previews.
I don't care what movie that cheating whore Kristen Stewart is coming out with.
5. Mr.Tarantino
Hey I love Mr.Brown's movies but the need he has to put himself in them is getting pretty old. Not to mention he really isn't that great of a acter. Sorry dude no hard feelings. I did like his Paul Hogan impression in this one but it stills need to go.
6. The Fight Club
Nice fight scene however I don't or care about these people. Not to mention we never see the winner again after he wins. It was nice to see that Kimbo Slice is still getting work
7. Horse Dancing
I know that since the summer Olympics that Dressage has been taking over America but it was a odd choice to put it in this movie. I know that it was only a 20 second dance at the end but it easily felt like 45 seconds. I feel like it was a blooper that Quentin just left in for fun or something
There you have it. Do these 7 things and you got yourself a 4 star movie....................MY GOD! I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN THEY RELEASE THE DIRECTOR'S CUT DVD! IT IS GOING TO BE LIKE 7 HOURS!!! THAT MEAN AT LEAST 38 MORE GUYS GETTING SHOT IN THE NUTS!!!

 

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