Previously on “The Defenders” - THIS
Now on “The Defenders”:


1) A thousand songs, in your attic

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The Defiant Ones

Alexandra Grant listens to “The Chronic” through on a first gen iPod.

2) Fight Music

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“I don’t wanna look, is the head still there?”

Stick tells The Defenders that Iron Fist is a key in the douchiest way possible. Danny thinks this is insane. YOU COME FROM A MAGIC CITY IN THE MOUNTAINS AND FOUGHT A DRAGON AND YOUR FIST GLOWS BUT THIS IS INSANE.

Danny tells everyone this is a trap. They don’t listen so Danny pitches a fit and attacks Matt. White boy ninja fight! Stick’s stick is suddenly pointing upward.

TFW you bite into a CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCHWRAP

Jessica gets tired of the “whose chops are harder” BS and KOs Danny. America cheers.

3) All tied up

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When you get dressed up for a selfie and but your phone dies

The heroes that are still conscious argue about what to do next. They land on Matt and Jessica headed back to Midland Capital while Luke creeps over the Immortal Napping Fist.

4) Dream Team

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“It was like a movie but in my brain”

Elektra dreams about lazy Saturdays with Matt. She wakes up and roots through his box of Daredevil. Rooting through his Braille bible - Brailleble? - she finds a card from her own wake with the name of the cemetery where she was buried.

5) TaskRabbit isn’t gonna do it

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“ I don’t think taking a dump on the floor is ‘a thing blind people do.’”

Stick cleans up his White Hat mess at the warehouse. Luke wonders why this old man is so damn weird. After a certain age I think everyone just gets to say whatever is on their mind.

6) Kenny Rogers Roasters

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“I love the view–oh sorry.”

Back at Matt’s apartment Jessica asks the question we’ve all wondered for years - HOW DOES HE AFFORD A SICK ASS LOFT LIKE THIS.

It’s because there’s a huge neon sign across the street. Kramer’s old apartment!

Matt smells something Elektra-y but let’s it go.

7) What’s in the booooooooox

It’s a head in a box! I believe this belongs to the Hand.

Grant is angry but it’s just the cost of doing business. Murakami keeps on with his Star Wars act, speaking only in Japanese. I guess The Hand can also see the subtitles.

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“This is not what I meant when I said ‘give me head.’”

8) MTV Cribs

Matt and Jessica visit the Raymond house. Lexi lets them inside. Jessica we know you’re jealous of this house but ya gotta stop swinging by unannounced.

9) Phone home

Gao drops in on Grant who wonders if anyone knocks anymore. She must read my recaps!

Gao wants to find a different way back to K'un Lun that doesn’t involve a mentally unstable resurrected assassin. Grant isn’t interested.

10) His greatest foe is rope

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WAHHHHHHHH! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Danny wakes up as the Immortal Tied-Up Fist.

Luke explains to Danny that they used their own Iron Brains to think their way to a better solution than just “punch shit.”

Stick gets trashed on ginseng in the background. Danny tries to tell the story of punching a dragon again but Luke is so sick of his crap he shuts Danny down.

Luke feels bad and asks Danny about his magic fist again. They finally share a moment swapping their own stories about dragons and rocket launchers and hypnotized Jessicas.

11) Dads, right?

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“That’s my story to tell!”

Matt and Jessica talk to Lexi about her dad like he didn’t just die a day or two ago. Lexi is mad at her dead dad. To relate to the #teens Jessica tells the story of Battlin’ Jack Murdock like Matt’s not sitting right there.

12) The Adventures of Elektra Sawyer

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“Like it? It’s Muppet skin.”

Elektra visits her own grave. Grant shows up makes it about herself instead. She’s dying Elektra, and she needs your help to find some more of that pig’s fluid that brought you back to life! Are you a bad enough dude to save Alexandra Grant?

13) Lame party

Danny meditates, still tied to a chair. Stick lectures him on how to meditate. Danny is such a dick that he makes Stick seem likeable.

14) *Zelda noise*

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Hey baby I hear the blues are callinnnnnn’

Lexi finally opens up about her dad. Matt plays a lil’ ditty on the piano and like any good RPG it opens up a secret - mystery blueprints!

There’s something underneath Midland Circle. I bet it’s just dirt.

15) Huffin’

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“So is Stick short for Stichard?”

Stick sits and mixes meth or something. He taunts Luke Cage and dares him to punch harder when he fights. We get his origin story, training with The Chaste after getting out of the slammer.

On the far side of the room, Danny’s fist starts to glow.

Oh wait, Stick is still an a-hole! His weird meth finally starts smoking; it KOs Luke. Stick approaches Danny, stick with a blade in hand, to murder the Iron Fist. America cheers.

Suddenly, Elektra does an appear! Teacher and student square off and Danny tries to fist his way out of the ropes.

Elektra gains the upper hand but Matt bursts through the door to talk her down. It doesn’t work because Elektra stabs him dead.

Everyone rushes Elektra who takes them all down and kidnaps Danny.

Great plan, Stickhead.

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“Now his name is Stuck.”

16) Wunnawun date

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Murakami gets the key to the fantasy suite.

Alexandra Grant and Murakami have a “Bachelorette” style private dinner in a giant room.
And just like on the “Bachelorette” Murakami reveals he’s here to kill Grant.

Before that can happen Elektra enters with Danny in tow. It’s a group date!

17) Meet the new boss

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“How many people are going to tie me up today?”

Danny wakes up tied to a new chair. He’s carted away and even though the rest of the Hand got what they wanted they’re still not happy. Grant reminds them she’s the only one that’s gotten anything done aroun–

Until Elektra stabs her in the back. Literally.

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Get away from her you bitch

Elektra announces herself as the new leader of the Hand and slices off Grant’s head.

Can I have her iPod?


Well, that took a big left turn at the end.
Two episodes left and the Hand is down a few fingers. Stick is dead and Danny is missing so The Defenders should be a little more relaxing of a team to be on.

I know, they HAVE to go get Danny. But I’d be okay if they took their time doing it.

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