Full Credits

Stats & Data

October 20, 2015

Oh wait. No, I guess that makes her not selfish. Hmm. OK, let's work on rewording that.

Reality-show star and life-size Kardashian sister Khloe Kardashian has been by the side of her estranged husband, Lamar Odom, since he went unconscious last week at a Nevada brothel. In the meantime, however, Khloe has put her relationship with Houston Rockets’ shooting guard, James Harden, on hold, while she’s been taking care of Odom.

Can you believe that bitch? A man she loved but then decided to end their relationship for numerous reasons, some of which are probably not known to the public, falls into a coma and she decides to pause her current relationship? How selfish and narcissistic and, oh wait…

Yeah, wait that makes sense. Sorry, I got carried away because it’s so easy to just throw a Kardashian’s decisions to the wind and write them off as egotistical, even when they’re making sound choices. It must be actually sort of difficult to carry on a relationship, especially one that’s new and therefore sort of delicate, when someone you love’s body is shutting down.

Ugh, but still. Khloe is so thirsty and now that she’s gotten into great shape it’s like she just is even more obsessed with herself and…

Wait. No. Again, sorry. I just went into autopilot and tried to make a dig at the Kardashian empire at a time that it isn’t really appropriate to do so. Like, yes, there are a lot of times to go off on those girls, but I guess when one of their former spouses is risking permanent brain damage and death, it wouldn’t hurt to back off. Hmm. OK.

But just to be clear, Khloe is so conceited and such a fame-whore, I bet a billion dollars she wants Odom to make a full recovery and eventually be able to scale back her care for him and continue her relationship with Harden. Ugh, I bet she just hopes he lives.

Oh, hmm. So do I. I also think that would be the best-case scenario.

I guess I can talk about something else. Let’s see. Oh fuck y’all heard that Kim has a life-threatening uterine disorder? Don’t even get me started. Typical, Kim.